by Kellie Davis

You’ve set your goal for the year and it probably relates to optimal health. However, say this to your daughter, and the message is decoded as a foggier version of the truth. How is it that our lifestyle choices, healthy though they may seem, can invoke body image and eating disorders in our kids?

When a woman decides to go on a diet, her goal is voiced to her entire entourage. Why wouldn’t it be? Everyone needs to be on-board with your goals in order for you to be successful. Unfortunately, sometimes the terminology used and the actions we take translate to unhealthy habits in our children.

A recent study shows that girls in particular are more likely to be influenced when a mother diets. They pick up on verbal and visual clues and create their very own idea of dieting, which is often distorted. During the study, a five-year old girl responded to her idea of a diet as, “you can’t eat.”

Though you feel that your daughter never listens, she really does pay attention to what you do and say. A mother’s referencing to her own weight issues, diet habits, and desire to change her own body weighs heavy on the mind of her daughter.

Self Image and Dieting

So often dieting goals interfere with self-esteem. Dieting and weight loss conquer our own self-image because it forces us to break down our bad habits and truly see what we don’t like about ourselves. In turn, our diet can become an obsession toward ridding ourselves of the ugly, rather than bringing out what’s beautiful.

Add in all of the other influences that lead to low self-esteem and body image issues, and you may watch your daughter decline into an eating disorder. Of course, it wouldn’t be fair to say that you cannot worry about your own body for the sake of saving your daughter.

The intention is to raise consciousness of how we perceive ourselves.

Perhaps the lesson to take away is a simple as an age-old idiom: practice what you preach. You can’t just tell your daughter to have positive body image, to love herself for who she is, and that beauty lies within — if you don’t truly feel this way about yourself.

You need to truly embrace your own sense of self, and reflect upon your daughter the positivity of healthy living. Don’t focus on your flaws; focus on the benefits of your new positive choices. Think of fat loss, muscle gain, and nicer curves as the added secret perks.

Helping Your daughter See the Beauty Within Herself

• Help her understand that weight gain is a normal part of her body changing.
• Avoid negativity about food, body size, weight, and shape.
• Allow your daughter to be an integral part of healthy choices. Involve her in making decisions about the food she eats and the activities she participates in.
• Compliment her everyday. Compliment her talents, her success, her looks, her personal values, her everything.
• Set boundaries about what she views on television, on the internet, and in magazines. Discuss with her what she sees and her views on these images.
• We can blame the media only so much. It is how we allow our daughters to view the media that really matters.
• Always keep communication lines open with your daughter. Let her know you really understand what she is going through and you are 100% supportive of her.

Contest Dieting

I would like to make a special note about contest dieting. As competitors, we know the effect our diet has on our bodies. We know the numerous supplements taken to give our bodies what our restricted diet lacks.  We also know that our diet can’t last forever if we want to maintain a healthy metabolism.

However, our daughters view this diet very differently. They watch us calculate our macronutrients, measure our portions, and eat a restricted diet like clockwork. Not only do they watch our eating habits, but also our physical changes.

Depending on your daughter’s views, this lifestyle may seem very enticing, or it may completely deter her. It is important for you to be open with her about what you are doing and why you are doing it. Let her know that it is part of the sport, and not part of your daily life.

Discuss with her know about the risk and rewards involved, and how important it is to do everything right. Be supportive when her curiosity is piqued, but don’t give her every detail if she is not interested.  It best not to force her to learn about your dieting, but to make it a part of her normal life.

About Kellie

Kellie Davis is a graduate from Florida Gulf Coast University with a B.A. in English. She is now a freelance writer, contributor to the Olicious Life, and NPC figure competitor. She currently resides in Arizona with her husband and two young children.