Olicious Life’s “Ask a Guy” Column

We all go through tough times with the men in our lives from time to time. Sometimes these relationship problems are long-lasting, other times, they’re short-lived. Sometimes, they’re enough to break up a marriage… yet other times, we come out of them feeling closer to our guy than we ever did before.

Regardless of any circumstance, and no matter how great of a conversationalist you consider yourself to be, don’t you always wonder what really goes through a guy’s mind when he acts a certain way? Wouldn’t you just love to know what prompts certain actions (you know, the ones that make you wanna strangle him at times)?

Well, now you can!

Olicious Life has gathered a panel of our very own resident everyday guys. We’ve got a team of single, engaged, and married men in their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s who are excitedly awaiting to respond to all of your burning “What’s he thinking?!” questions.

Please send in your questions to Submissions@OliciousLife.com. If you’d like to write to us anonymously, you may do so through here, AnonymousFeedback.com.

Editor’s note: OliciousLife.com or any of our authors or affiliates are not responsible for any action or non-action by the individual whose question appears below. Any information posted in this or any other article or post relating to this or any other question submitted to OliciousLife.com or any of its authors or affiliates are for entertainment purposes only. The below advice is not to be construed as legal advice, marriage counseling, or life coaching, and is not intended as such.

His actions are confusing!

I started dating this guy back when I was seventeen, we dated for about a week before he broke up with me, after that we continued to see each other and even fooled around, but I never had sex with him. We dated on and off and finally decided to be friends during that time he would only agree to hang out when it suited him, he wouldn’t return my calls until it suited him as well.

He once all of a sudden stopped talking to me for about a year before he randomly messaged me on MSN, then we started to hang out again, fooled around, still no sex. Then all of a sudden he fell off the map wouldn’t answer my calls or email nothing.  It’s almost been a year since he recently started talking to me again, but it seems like I always have to initiate the conversation. This is really getting old, I don’t think he’s looking for sex, he’s never really asked, and even if we fool around I have to initiate it, it’s rare he does.

What’s the deal with this guy?

What's the deal with this guy?!

Answer

Maybe your “friend” is gay? Stop laughing! Seriously, maybe he is!

Did you ever come straight out and ask him? This guy could be gayer than a movie called Butt Pirate’s Flaming Poop Shoot Adventures, starring Tom Cruise, Toby Magwire and the Jonas Brothers.

Any guy with a hot chick is going to try and make a move eventually, if not right away, and keep trying until he succeeds at getting in your pants. Whether he loves you or is just attracted to you and lusts for you, he will look to have sex at some point. This could be the case, but there are a ton of other possibilities as well.

One thing that stands out to me (other than the gay thing), is maybe he tried to have sex with you a couple times and you either pushed him away or stopped him before you did the nasty. I know after a while of getting rejected by a girl, a guy will eventually give up and move on. Then, when he feels like trying again, he may be calling you, messaging you, or finding other ways to let you know he’s interested in “trying” again.

Repeat the scenario, and if you reject him enough, he gives up yet again.

What are your intentions with this guy?

Do you want to have sex, or start a long term relationship with him? You need to make your intentions clearer. Based on your statements, even I’m confused as to what you want out of your relationship with him. I’d think that he’s probably in the same boat. Maybe you keep sending him mixed signals; he could just be extremely confused.

It could also be the case that he just isn’t interested, but calls you when he feels alone and in need of some “friendship.” Not everyone is into everyone else. Maybe you’re just not his type and should stop trying so hard to force the issue. Usually, if a guy is really into you, you won’t have to wonder and will definitely not be nearly as confused as you currently are. He will  make his intentions clear if he’s “feeling it” with you.

Couldn’t it be that the guy just wants to be friends with you, calls you when he wants to hang out, and then you end up initiating intimacy (like you admitted), he starts to go with it (which is normal because after all, he is a guy), then doesn’t push it any further when he realizes that he only wants to be friends and nothing more?

I also don’t understand why you can’t just ask the guy. Can’t you just call him, explain the situation, explain your confusion, and get him to answer you, finally putting an end to all this guessing? Right now, that’s all there is — just a bunch of hunches (hey, that sounds like a great new breakfast cereal I invented—thanks!).
If nothing else, an honest talk with him will at least get you an answer to this and finally set your mind right.

Having said all that, the best advice I can give you is to…

Forget him and move on!

Your life does not revolve around him and his sudden desire to see you or be around you. Next time he calls, just say that you have no time, or that you have a boyfriend, or better yet, say that you moved on and he has played with your emotions for far too long.

Be strong and don’t take this anymore. Move on and find another fish in the sea — there are plenty of them out there and many ways to “hook ’em.”

Even right now, before you’re done reading this, go put an ad on Match.com or one of those other internet dating websites, meet a nice guy, and forget this other dude. He just isn’t worth the time and effort you’re putting into trying to get with him. There are hundreds of other guys our there who can’t seem to find the “right one.” Give those guys as much of a chance as you are giving this unappreciative assclown.

Every day that you waste is another missed opportunity. Life is too short to let this guy play with your mind. Move on, live your life and go find a great guy. And if it’s just a booty call you’re after, I’ve attached my number and address for your consideration.

P.S.: Pics will be sent upon request.