by Kellie Davis

Women are biologically designed to handle high amounts of stress. A recent UCLA study shows that during stressful situations, oxytocin, or the “touch chemical,” is actually enhanced by estrogen. Thus, unlike men who adapt to the flight or flight reaction, women need emotional support during times of high stress.

So, where does PMS come into play with all of this?

The hormonal imbalance brought about by premenstrual syndrome enhances a woman’s stress level, increasing her need to cuddle, talk, and relax — the need for emotional support.

Of course, both a man and woman’s initial reaction during this sensitive time of month is fight or flight. We tend to stay as far away from each other as humanly possible as to avoid any lethal confrontation. However, this proves to cause more stress than healing.

As hormones surge and oxytocin levels rise, a woman instinctually desires to feel close to others to reassure that everything is going to be alright. When looking at emergency situations, women aptly grab the children and huddle in shelter, whereas men are more likely to yield a weapon and face the storm. Men don’t need the emotional support that women do at times of high stress.

Thus, next time you feel as though you’re ready to fly off the handle, call a friend for a cup of coffee and good conversation; send texts back and forth, write an email. You’ll be surprised how healing those small connections can be. (Great tip for all you emotional eaters whose hunger for random snacks skyrockets during this time of the month.)

When it comes to relationship stress during PMS, communicate with your man. We’re all quick to assume that he ‘knows’ when we’re suffering our time of month, but chances are, he’s not as in sync with your biological clock as you have lead yourself to believe. Don’t be afraid to ask for the emotional support you require at this time!

Get him there!

Men move toward isolation when they’re feeling stressed because testosterone represses that ‘get cozy’ feeling of oxytocin, causing them to seek ways out of the situation. Instead of avoiding each other, use this time to rekindle the flame.

Studies show that cuddling, kissing, or any physical touch calms a woman during stress. Let your man know that as emotions flair, he can sooth them by simply holding you, talking with you about your day, and letting you know that he there to provide that much needed emotional support to you.

Your physical and emotional PMS symptoms may deplete your self-confidence, but having sex during this time of month actually soothes your symptoms. Aside from the fact that uterine contractions during orgasm decrease cramping, the act of sex itself will cause a rise in your oxytocin levels, leaving you feeling less stressed. What better way to cuddle than between the sheets? The physical affection will result in you feeling the emotional support you need, as well.

Now this is not to say that every physical encounter during PMS should lead to sex (sorry, guys). In fact, the pressure of feeling as though you have to perform may increase your stress levels. That’s when you let nature take over. Instead of adding one more item to your overflowing plate of stress, just let things happen.

If you really don’t want your physical connection to go beyond kissing, or you truly just need to be held, make sure your man understands that, because again, their instincts are different. Communicate your needs. Don’t assume that he knows what you want, because despite popular theory, men are not mind readers. He’ll be more than willing to provide all the emotional support you desire if you just show him the way!

Don’t shy away from the gym!

Physical activity proves to be a tremendous stress reliever during PMS. It may also help you stave off cravings. Instead of hitting the drive-thru window for an extra-large carton of fries, why not head out from a challenging metabolic circuit or set of hill sprints?

Nonsensical? Quit the contrary. Never underestimate the power of endorphins — those powerful brain substances that act as our body’s natural painkiller.

Stress makes us crave carbohydrates and anxiety makes us crave endorphins. There is no better way to release endorphins than exercise. Once you satisfy that endorphin craving and kill your anxiety, your stress level falls, as does your desire to pound down sugary carbs.

Ah, and that leads us back to cuddling, kissing, and sex. Like exercise, endorphins are released during physical encounters with your man; giving you that ‘runner’s high’ you need to calm your anxiety. The more passionate the kiss, the more endorphins you release, the more emotional support you’ll feel. Well, you get my point.

About Kellie

Kellie Davis is a graduate from Florida Gulf Coast University with a B.A. in English. She is now a freelance writer, contributor to the Olicious Life, and NPC figure competitor. She currently resides in Arizona with her husband and two young children.

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