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This is a discussion on Dicussion: Men Who Dislike Fit Women within the Relationships and Family Life forums,----- I know Alanis had mentioned something like this in her journal, and I just wanted to bring it out into ...
I know Alanis had mentioned something like this in her journal, and I just wanted to bring it out into the open, since it is a bit of a trial for me as well...
I have a muscular physique. I won't deny it. In no way is it "manly" or "unfeminine" (at least I don't think so)...however, a lot of guys seem to think it is. I get a lot of ugly comments about how my arms are "too muscular", how I'd be proportioned if I actually HAD boobs, my abs are way too ripped, my shoulders are broad, my back is too muscular, etc. To break it down the way I see it:
- My arms are NOT that muscular. I hardly consider barely 11" biceps "too muscular"
- Okay, so I don't have boobs...I gotta make up for the lack of them SOMEHOW!
- My shoulders aren't that broad. They're nicely capped, but I would not consider them broad at all.
- My back is no where NEAR as muscular as it could be
- My abs ARE ripped...but since when has that been gross?!
I even had someone tell me that I should stay in a bulking phase forever, so that my stomach would "go back to normal" and I might not look like I'm trying to look like a guy. I mean, honestly!!
Okay, first half of the rant is over...now to get to my main point...
Guys don't seem to appreciate our types of physiques. At least I find so anyway. I'm not working out to impress guys, but at the same time it can be a little annoying to know that guys don't find you attractive because they think your shoulders are "intimidating", and your vascularity is "gross". "Your hands are too calloused", (get this a LOT) oh, and another one, "Why would you want your legs to get bigger?" They all like the cardio-bunny, skinny girl look...the ones who look fit, but still have enough bodyfat on them to maintain their DD's. I get a comment now and then, sure...but it's always on a professional level, like "you're really strong" or "You look great!" but it's from people who are actually IN the game, so they know what they're talking about...but your average guy just likes skinny girls with boobs. And that's DEFINITELY not me. So what gives?
Don't know if any of you girls feel like this, but I get a bit discouraged about it sometimes. I bust my ass to look my best, but the most approval I'll get from a guy is, "Why are you trying to get muscular?"
ARGH.
Okay, rant over. Discussion may commence.
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"It's funny...the harder I train and better I eat.....the better my genetics seem to get." - G. Diesel
Last edited by sneezingstardust; 10-23-2009 at 10:21 AM.
I have to say. My James is wonderful. He embrasses it and he loves it. He loves watching my body change and says it's better now and will be better as we go along.
The men I am around typically love a good sexy FIT body. But honestly women wanting there bodies this way is still somewhat a "new" thing. Women have been becoming fit, what? only the last 75 years or so. The mentality is that a woman should be soft and cuvry. I am not saying that is right. I am just saying I think this is where this comes from.
It's something we are just going to have to face head on and say we don't care what you think a woman should be this is how I want to be. If someone can't embrace that then oh well. You be soft and cuvry and I'll be fit. And if it's a dude. Shut your mouth... lol
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Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. ~Benjamin Disraeli
The Following User Says Thank You to Mloveb For This Useful Post:
Please don't let it get you down. There are men who prefer the way you look and aren't so terrified of a strong female as to run away. Just think of your appearance as a super easy way of getting rid of the A holes! If they are really going to turn you down cause you like to be fit, better off with out them. Yeah I know it's a cliche, but it's true.
And for what it's worth I think you're totally hot. Your pictures are super motivating.
The Following User Says Thank You to missintent For This Useful Post:
Wow.... I almost started the EXACT same thread yesterday... but I wasn't sure how to word it and didn't end up doing it!!!
I was at work yesterday and my boss and I were watching Regis and Kelly in the morning. I don't know what Kelly Ripa did to her workout.... but her arms are ROCKING. She looks amazing for someone my age let alone a mother of however many kids she has, and 40 years old!! My boss goes "Wow! Look at her arms! She looks like a man! Women are not meant to look like that".
Then, I was filling in on a bowling league last night and a group of girls walks in. They were attractive enough in the face, but they had NO body. No figure to speak of, be it muscular or curvaceous. The guys that were playing on my team were going ga-ga over these women. I am the opposite of being a jealous female... if a woman is pretty or has a good body I'll compliment her on it... but I'm being honest, I didn't see what these guys were seeing.
I have never been super thin. I have never been FAT either... just a happy medium. I have always had a huge rack... guess it's just something my mom "blessed" me with... but I never get the attention from men that these super skinny women do. And I definitely have enough T and A to go around (tits and ass, hehehe). So really, even having big boobs doesn't matter, unless you have a teeny body, which isn't realistic if you are all natural.
Unfortunately, I think it is just a double standard. Men can be overweight and still be attractive... but the minute a woman has a few extra pounds, she is not datable, or is made to feel like she is not attractive enough. Overweight men can be referred to as "teddy bears". Our society teaches us that men are supposed to be huskier and women are supposed to be petite and thin. It's all a big media blitz... I mean look at our competition. We cannot compete with 6'3'' brazilian models who are nearly flawless to begin with, and then airbrushed on top of it.
Missintent is right- keep doing your thing and weed out the assholes!!
You are super hot, so whatever guy is passing you up, is a complete MORON!!
The Following User Says Thank You to Kim312 For This Useful Post:
I say let the guys who what cardio bunnies have them. There are plenty of guys who will love your physique. Everyone has their "type", everyone needs lovin' .
The Following User Says Thank You to KKKRRR For This Useful Post:
I havent heard anything negative from guys but mostly other chicks tell me I'm 'too muscular'. When I run into people that I havent seen for a while, Guys will tell me I'm jacked...then tell me its a good thing (as if I would be offended). Its the girls that say I'm jacked and not mean it as a compliment.
Everyone has their preference as to what they find attractive...I'm sure you find certain looks/features more attractive than others, so you really shouldnt concern yourself with what makes them tick...unless you are into them, then I can see why it would bother you. Chris' friends have made some comments about me eventally looking like a man if I keep lifting, but luckily he has enough sense to know that isnt possible. You just have to find the right person who can appreciate you. I'm fortunate that Chris likes me lean (but doesnt like ab veins!) but he also thinks I look beatiful in the off season when I'm squishy and insecure :(
When its the right person, they wont think you're manly at all
The Following User Says Thank You to Nic902 For This Useful Post:
Men view women with their second brain and are always thinking of the 'doability' factor. For the most part, men love to dominate women. They find the Calvin Klein model look attractive because it appear weak and feeble, easy to take advantage of. They never automatically look at a woman and think, "Wow, she must balance her macros perfectly and have perfect squat form."
It's not to say that they don't find muscles attractive. It is more to say that they feel intimidated. If a woman is strong enough to take care of her body the way you do, then how am I going to dominate her?
Okay, so many of us have found men who are the opposite of said penis brain. Some of us met him before we started lifting, some after. That being said, it takes all sorts of men to make up this world.
If you put a photo of Alicia Marie or Jamie Eason in front of penis brain, I am sure he is likely to ogle and fall in love. Such a double standard, I know. But magazine girls are just a fantasy, something that could never exist in their world. Real women are intimidating.
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The Following User Says Thank You to kjdavis For This Useful Post:
There's a big difference between BOYS and MEN, which I think is one of the reasons I'm having a tough time...I don't like guys my age because they're too young and immature. I've always grown up around older guys . I guess they get better as they age. Kinda like a good wine.
Anyway, I'm not going to stop what I do just because someone decides to pass me up for it - eventually someone will be sensible.
The Following User Says Thank You to sneezingstardust For This Useful Post:
At your age, guys are much more easily intimidated... My age as well (early 20s). I find that theyre not so much grossed out or unattracted as they are simply intimidated...Guys are used to being the one with abs, more definition, bigger biceps... and good god their world turns upside down when they meet a chick with some definition and god forbid she has better abs! :P
Chances are, your motivating them to do better in the gym or with their diet and perhaps scaring them at the same time.
I honestly think i may have scared my SO last night... he mentioned wanting a new computer wall paper and i pulled up Jamie Eason, Jelena Abbou, Valerie Waugaman, and Ava Cowan.... He was a tad shocked at their competition pics (I showed their pin ups first lol) and he was really thrown when I said they were my inspiration, what i hoped to attain within 10 years, hopefully five, career and education allowing. He does always say I push him harder in the gym because I bust more ass than half the guys in there. So you've got your good and bad points, but it all levels out
The Following User Says Thank You to viridian For This Useful Post:
At your age, guys are much more easily intimidated... My age as well (early 20s). I find that theyre not so much grossed out or unattracted as they are simply intimidated...Guys are used to being the one with abs, more definition, bigger biceps... and good god their world turns upside down when they meet a chick with some definition and god forbid she has better abs! :P
Chances are, your motivating them to do better in the gym or with their diet and perhaps scaring them at the same time.
I honestly think i may have scared my SO last night... he mentioned wanting a new computer wall paper and i pulled up Jamie Eason, Jelena Abbou, Valerie Waugaman, and Ava Cowan.... He was a tad shocked at their competition pics (I showed their pin ups first lol) and he was really thrown when I said they were my inspiration, what i hoped to attain within 10 years, hopefully five, career and education allowing. He does always say I push him harder in the gym because I bust more ass than half the guys in there. So you've got your good and bad points, but it all levels out
I dunno, I just always get the same things from them.
Like this one guy yesterday...says to me:
Him: You should French manicure your nails, it looks really nice."
Me: *thinking wistfully, because I LOVE French manicures on my nails* I wish I could, but I can't.
Him: Why?
Me: Because I lift weights, so they'd just get ruined.
Him: True...just stop lifting weights, haha. You'd look way better if you were softer anyway...you're pretty, but you could be a lot prettier if you looked more feminine.
........thanks? I'm not even that hard-looking anymore! I'm on a friggen bulk!!
I dunno, I just always get the same things from them.
Like this one guy yesterday...says to me:
Him: You should French manicure your nails, it looks really nice."
Me: *thinking wistfully, because I LOVE French manicures on my nails* I wish I could, but I can't.
Him: Why?
Me: Because I lift weights, so they'd just get ruined.
Him: True...just stop lifting weights, haha. You'd look way better if you were softer anyway...you're pretty, but you could be a lot prettier if you looked more feminine.
........thanks? I'm not even that hard-looking anymore! I'm on a friggen bulk!!
I have my nails done right now (for my show) and its so freakin annoying to train!
btw...you are BEAUTIFUL! I wish I looked half as good as you when I was a teenager
The Following User Says Thank You to Nic902 For This Useful Post:
I know Alanis had mentioned something like this in her journal, and I just wanted to bring it out into the open, since it is a bit of a trial for me as well...
I have a muscular physique. I won't deny it. In no way is it "manly" or "unfeminine" (at least I don't think so)...however, a lot of guys seem to think it is. I get a lot of ugly comments about how my arms are "too muscular", how I'd be proportioned if I actually HAD boobs, my abs are way too ripped, my shoulders are broad, my back is too muscular, etc. To break it down the way I see it:
[SIZE="2"]
[COLOR="DarkRed"]- My arms are NOT that muscular. I hardly consider barely 11" biceps "too muscular"
[/SIZE]
[SIZE="2"]- Okay, so I don't have boobs...I gotta make up for the lack of them SOMEHOW!
- My shoulders aren't that broad. They're nicely capped, but I would not consider them broad at all.
- My back is no where NEAR as muscular as it could be
- My abs ARE ripped...but since when has that been gross?! [/COLOR]
[/SIZE] I even had someone tell me that I should stay in a bulking phase forever, so that my stomach would "go back to normal" and I might not look like I'm trying to look like a guy. I mean, honestly!! [SIZE="3"]
Okay, first half of the rant is over...now to get to my main point...[/SIZE]
Guys don't seem to appreciate our types of physiques. At least I find so anyway. I'm not working out to impress guys, but at the same time it can be a little annoying to know that guys don't find you attractive because they think your shoulders are "intimidating", and your vascularity is "gross". "Your hands are too calloused", (get this a LOT) oh, and another one, "Why would you want your legs to get bigger?" They all like the cardio-bunny, skinny girl look...the ones who look fit, but still have enough bodyfat on them to maintain their DD's. I get a comment now and then, sure...but it's always on a professional level, like "you're really strong" or "You look great!" but it's from people who are actually IN the game, so they know what they're talking about...but your average guy just likes skinny girls with boobs. And that's DEFINITELY not me. So what gives?
[COLOR="Navy"]
Don't know if any of you girls feel like this, but I get a bit discouraged about it sometimes. I bust my ass to look my best, but the most approval I'll get from a guy is, "Why are you trying to get muscular?"[/COLOR]
[SIZE="7"]
ARGH.[/SIZE]
Okay, rant over. Discussion may commence.
It comes down to one word...
JEALOUSY! and INTIMIDATION! but you already know that.
Okay that was two words.
Remember mostly... you are still very young... and I guess many of your peers are not into the lifting until they will be maybe in there 20's, if at all. You are 16 correct? YOU are waaaaaaaaaaay ahead of the game and I see a majorly huge gigantic bright future ahead for you! They are jealous because you are so ahead of the game...and they are intimidated because of it!
Well, the little teeeeny stick figures I see walking around now are all going to be fat unhealthy housewives in about 10 or 15 years! And you my dear are going to sit back and laugh your way all the way to the bank me thinks...because I can see you on the cover of some fitness mag...really! Don't let it get to you, the little pain you endure now..is only a stepping stone to your future...who cares what the guys want...its what YOU want in a man that counts and will attract a male species worthy of your love and respect.
The Following User Says Thank You to brownbikerbabe For This Useful Post:
I dunno, I just always get the same things from them.
Like this one guy yesterday...says to me:
Him: You should French manicure your nails, it looks really nice."
Me: *thinking wistfully, because I LOVE French manicures on my nails* I wish I could, but I can't.
Him: Why?
Me: Because I lift weights, so they'd just get ruined.
Him: True...just stop lifting weights, haha. You'd look way better if you were softer anyway...you're pretty, but you could be a lot prettier if you looked more feminine.
........thanks? I'm not even that hard-looking anymore! I'm on a friggen bulk!!
Which is when you say... "you should lift more weights/bulk up/shave/dye your hair/dress better/any of a dozen things cause seriously who tells someone else how to look screw off dude!!!
The Following User Says Thank You to missintent For This Useful Post:
Which is when you say... "you should lift more weights/bulk up/shave/dye your hair/dress better/any of a dozen things cause seriously who tells someone else how to look screw off dude!!!
lol I always laugh so hard when the little boys try to tell you what you should do with your appearance.... Im more than a trophy big boy, go find a barbie doll to play with already!
The Following User Says Thank You to viridian For This Useful Post:
There's a big difference between BOYS and MEN, which I think is one of the reasons I'm having a tough time...I don't like guys my age because they're too young and immature. I've always grown up around older guys . I guess they get better as they age. Kinda like a good wine.
Anyway, I'm not going to stop what I do just because someone decides to pass me up for it - eventually someone will be sensible.
Hahah I hate to break it to you chicky... I'm 27 and the guys my age aren't much better than I remember them being when I was 18!! You will just keep maturing yourself so you'll always be on a different level than the majority of them!
There are guys out there who won't be intimidated by your hotness... you just have to know the good ones when they present themselves!
The Following User Says Thank You to Kim312 For This Useful Post:
Which is when you say... "you should lift more weights/bulk up/shave/dye your hair/dress better/any of a dozen things cause seriously who tells someone else how to look screw off dude!!!
There's a big difference between BOYS and MEN, which I think is one of the reasons I'm having a tough time...I don't like guys my age because they're too young and immature. I've always grown up around older guys . I guess they get better as they age. Kinda like a good wine.
Anyway, I'm not going to stop what I do just because someone decides to pass me up for it - eventually someone will be sensible.
Ya know. I remember when James and I started dating. I put it out there what my goals are. He said he supported my goals but he liked a softer woman and thought I was perfect the way I was. So I asked him, why would you think you like a softer squishy woman over a firm, fit woman? He said he didn't know he's always liked it that way. So I being clever asked have you ever dated one? He said no, I asked why, he said because they don't give his fat booty a chance, didn't even give him a chance when he was in better shape.
I said then you can't judge and say what you like better until you tried it. lol! He agreed, it was the same for younger women he never dated a younger woman because "they are immature" well I'm 13 years youngert than him and when I wasn't bulking was more fit than anyone he's dated. He not has a great appreciation for a fit beautiful body.
I think as guys age they have more of an open mind as well as they learn to be supportive of goals even if it doesn't mesh with their ideals.
Your a smart beautiful, fit girl and as you get older you'll find someone whom supports you weather it be what their "ideal" is or not.
On another note, since when did fatness become a "real woman"? I hate that when I see it. Makes me go gurrr!!
I agree with everyone girl...YOURE BEAUTIFUL!!! My husband loves the fit look..well now he does..he says before, in highschool, he was drawn into the "video-looking" chicks..you know..the thick girls with huge boobs and booty.hahaha..well that aint me..haha..he says he loves this look on me...and just a toned, athletic look...now..he did say that he had to have a happy medium..that he didnt want them to be on either side of the extremes (meaning he didnt want too fat or too muscular..or bodybuilder..so I fit right in between )..
I would just ignore all those retarded boys...I started ignoring all those comments the moment I heard a man say Ava Cowen and Gina Alliotti looked ugly and too masculin..that they should..and I quote: "Fatten up a bit"..WTH!!! I was like..screw yall..you guys have NO IDEA what beauty is...like Mloveb said, since when fatness become "real women"...geesh...
I agree with everyone girl...YOURE BEAUTIFUL!!! My husband loves the fit look..well now he does..he says before, in highschool, he was drawn into the "video-looking" chicks..you know..the thick girls with huge boobs and booty.hahaha..well that aint me..haha..he says he loves this look on me...and just a toned, athletic look...now..he did say that he had to have a happy medium..that he didnt want them to be on either side of the extremes (meaning he didnt want too fat or too muscular..or bodybuilder..so I fit right in between )..
I would just ignore all those retarded boys...I started ignoring all those comments the moment I heard a man say Ava Cowen and Gina Alliotti looked ugly and too masculin..that they should..and I quote: "Fatten up a bit"..WTH!!! I was like..screw yall..you guys have NO IDEA what beauty is...like Mloveb said, since when fatness become "real women"...geesh...
Lol, one of my friends thought Jamie Eason and Gina were on steroids!! WHAT?!!
Guys just can't believe girls can gain muscle. It's silly.
It all come down to jealousy, intimidation and the fact you look so good, (and you do, I've seen the pics) highlights this french-manicure wanting man-child's flaws.
Eleanor Roosevelt said
Quote:
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Dicussion: Men Who Dislike Fit Women
Your pictures are super motivating.
. I guess they get better as they age. Kinda like a good wine. 
And you my dear are going to sit back and laugh your way all the way to the bank me thinks...because I can see you on the cover of some fitness mag...really! Don't let it get to you, the little pain you endure now..is only a stepping stone to your future...who cares what the guys want...its what YOU want in a man that counts and will attract a male species worthy of your love and respect.
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