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This is a discussion on Kids and Clean Eating within the Relationships and Family Life forums,----- If I hear one more whine of, "I don't like this!" I am probably going to do some time for ...
If I hear one more whine of, "I don't like this!" I am probably going to do some time for child abuse. I am at my wits end. Unfortunately, my kids have a background in junk food.
Their father is a junk food junkie and a controlling asshole. Before the divorce, if I cooked a healthy meal, the X would throw an absolute fit, throw his food in the trash, tell the boys to do the same, and load them up and go to McDonald's. If I went to the grocery store and came back with out at least three boxes of those chemical laden snack cakes, I would not hear the end of it for days, or until I went back to the store to buy them. I have some serious conditioning to undo.
I have been working at it for over a year now, and we seem to be making little to no progress. I have a few victories, but for every one there are at least ten defeats.
When I was a child, I ate the food that was put in front of me. I didn't have a choice, and if I whined about it, I got a belt taken to my behind. I don't want to be the authoritarians that my parents were, because I know what that causes. But I am so tired of the constant whining over the food, that I am sorely tempted.
They are not deprived. They get some junk food and some of the unhealthy garbage that they love. But that is the ONLY time I don't have to listen to whining about the food.
If anyone has been through this and has some words of wisdom, they would be greatly appreciated. I did read the article on fat kids, but not a lot seemed to help in this situation. I explain about healthy and unhealthy choices, and why they should eat the healthy food, but it goes in one ear and out the other.
Please, help save my children from becoming a statistic! (Insert sarcasm font here.)
If I hear one more whine of, "I don't like this!" I am probably going to do some time for child abuse. I am at my wits end. Unfortunately, my kids have a background in junk food.
Their father is a junk food junkie and a controlling asshole. Before the divorce, if I cooked a healthy meal, the X would throw an absolute fit, throw his food in the trash, tell the boys to do the same, and load them up and go to McDonald's. If I went to the grocery store and came back with out at least three boxes of those chemical laden snack cakes, I would not hear the end of it for days, or until I went back to the store to buy them. I have some serious conditioning to undo.
I have been working at it for over a year now, and we seem to be making little to no progress. I have a few victories, but for every one there are at least ten defeats.
When I was a child, I ate the food that was put in front of me. I didn't have a choice, and if I whined about it, I got a belt taken to my behind. I don't want to be the authoritarians that my parents were, because I know what that causes. But I am so tired of the constant whining over the food, that I am sorely tempted.
They are not deprived. They get some junk food and some of the unhealthy garbage that they love. But that is the ONLY time I don't have to listen to whining about the food.
If anyone has been through this and has some words of wisdom, they would be greatly appreciated. I did read the article on fat kids, but not a lot seemed to help in this situation. I explain about healthy and unhealthy choices, and why they should eat the healthy food, but it goes in one ear and out the other.
Please, help save my children from becoming a statistic! (Insert sarcasm font here.)
I just want you to know ALL KIDS WHINE ABOUT FOOD!!! Know this is perfectly normal. Mine eat both good stuff and junk and just when you think you've got their favourite lunch packed or dinner down..."I don't like__________" you fill in the blank. And veggies?? What the heck are those??
I have learned from my childhood, never make eating and food an issue. I have also learned with my kids 1. Pick your battles and 2. don't make eating one of them.
I try and they at times resist but we can only do our best. NONE of my children have a weight issue so it is probably easier for me to dole out the advice. But I really recommend never making food an issue.
Try to get them involved in the meal planning. Have them make a list of what they like. Include a special "fast food" or pizza day. Make sure they are eating enough as well. Just like we crave junk when really we are just not eating enough cals, so do they. Kids (depending on their ages) need like min 2600 cals minimum per day. They generally are very active and are growing.
My advice is to not make food and meal times an issue and try to get them involved in what is going to be served. Let them even help prepare. Kids will often eat what they have made themselves.
Hope this helps.
Last edited by fit mom of 4; 11-21-2009 at 03:33 PM.
The Following User Says Thank You to fit mom of 4 For This Useful Post:
Haha I remember the days my mom would make me sit in the kitchen floor and make me eat my pea salad, i'd be there for hours. I love it now. My mom didn't allow me sodas or candy, my granny would sneak them to me as a treat. lol
My Mom also didn't know much about nutrition she just knew my veggies were good for me and didn't give much protein. Later in life as a teen, because she didn't have time I got lots of junk and precooked food it sprialed from there for me. I don't have advice to offer you because I don't have children, the one thing I wish I had was actual food education. My mom telling me about what was in foods and what they do to my body. I watch that one Bristish food show and they tell the kids about it too. Not sure how old your children are, and habits are hard to break.
Good luck hon!
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The Following User Says Thank You to Mloveb For This Useful Post:
They are six and eight. Maybe I shouldn't complain too much. They both like broccoli and carrots and will eat baked chicken breast with ketchup. That took a lot of doing, but it finally happened. The thing is, they refuse to give anything new a chance. I would really like to eat something besides chicken and broccoli, but I refuse to cook two separate meals.
I hate to hear that about your mom, Mloveb. I have had several friends who refused to allow their kids sugar, or made a huge control issue over it. Every time we went to a party, while all the other kids were out having fun, these kids were in the corner sucking down soda and cookies and candy like there was no tomorrow. Whenever they went to a friend's house, the first thing they wanted to do was raid the junk food, and if allowed, would eat until they were sick. I don't want my kids to be those kids, and I don't want to make food an issue. I do need to figure out how to find that balance.
Fit Mom of 4, that is a brilliant idea to bring them in on the planning and cooking. I will let you know how that goes.
They are six and eight. Maybe I shouldn't complain too much. They both like broccoli and carrots and will eat baked chicken breast with ketchup. That took a lot of doing, but it finally happened. The thing is, they refuse to give anything new a chance. I would really like to eat something besides chicken and broccoli, but I refuse to cook two separate meals.
I hate to hear that about your mom, Mloveb. I have had several friends who refused to allow their kids sugar, or made a huge control issue over it. Every time we went to a party, while all the other kids were out having fun, these kids were in the corner sucking down soda and cookies and candy like there was no tomorrow. Whenever they went to a friend's house, the first thing they wanted to do was raid the junk food, and if allowed, would eat until they were sick. I don't want my kids to be those kids, and I don't want to make food an issue. I do need to figure out how to find that balance.
Fit Mom of 4, that is a brilliant idea to bring them in on the planning and cooking. I will let you know how that goes.
I was one of those kids that never had many sweets at home so when I got out...OMG!! I used to buy LARGE bags or chips etc not snack size.... and eat til I was practically sick. To say the least at 4'11", 12 years old I weighed 179lbs (possibly more).
i came from a "closed kitchen", which meant we eat when I say so. Well, my house is not like that now. It takes alot of brain retraining but I apply my own eating principles to my kids. 3 main meals and snacks throughout. Let them have the sweet stuff once in a while... will probably help their bodies tolerate them better as they get older and they won't crave them as much. Lots of this is psycholigical too. Remember that. When one is told "no", they want to go against that. So like I said pick your battles and try not to make food one of them.
I am happy you liked the idea and for sure let me know how it goes.
GOOD LUCK!! I feel you sista!
Hey firespinner, I'm definitely no expert as I have no children, but I have done A LOT of childcare in my years, enough to know how kids think and act when it comes to this type of thing. But basically what I think is that you cannot give your kids a choice. You decide what they eat at home and when... regardless of the fight they put up. Just like you said when you were growing up, you ate the food that was put in front of you. And, that is exactly what they need to do. Sure they are going to whine, but as far as I'm concerned, they can either eat it, or starve (figuratively speaking). A kid should not fight you so hard on what they eat to the point that they literally go to bed hungry. And if they do, it should be a lesson to them. It is completely ok to give children a sugary treat from time to time, but rewarding our children with really unhealthy treats is a HUGE problem in our society. Making food an issue can be bad, but raising children not knowing how to make good food choices is going to cause a lot of problems for them later in life. It's all about finding that balance.
I'm sure when your kids are throwing a fit, it is much easier just to give in and give them what they want. But, you CAN'T. You have to stay strong and put your foot down firmly.
You may not be able to control what they eat when they are school or with their dad, but I think once you set the tone that they cannot fight you on what they eat for dinner at your house, you'll see some positive progress out of them. Good luck!
Hey firespinner, I'm definitely no expert as I have no children, but I have done A LOT of childcare in my years, enough to know how kids think and act when it comes to this type of thing. But basically what I think is that you cannot give your kids a choice. You decide what they eat at home and when... regardless of the fight they put up. Just like you said when you were growing up, you ate the food that was put in front of you. And, that is exactly what they need to do. Sure they are going to whine, but as far as I'm concerned, they can either eat it, or starve (figuratively speaking). A kid should not fight you so hard on what they eat to the point that they literally go to bed hungry. And if they do, it should be a lesson to them. It is completely ok to give children a sugary treat from time to time, but rewarding our children with really unhealthy treats is a HUGE problem in our society. Making food an issue can be bad, but raising children not knowing how to make good food choices is going to cause a lot of problems for them later in life. It's all about finding that balance.
I'm sure when your kids are throwing a fit, it is much easier just to give in and give them what they want. But, you CAN'T. You have to stay strong and put your foot down firmly.
You may not be able to control what they eat when they are school or with their dad, but I think once you set the tone that they cannot fight you on what they eat for dinner at your house, you'll see some positive progress out of them. Good luck!
I have tried the whole, "Eat the food or go to bed hungry," routine, and they have gone to bed hungry so many times that I gave up and made the rule that they must eat every bite on their plate. Obviously, I make sure not to put too much on their plates. I do not give in, unless someone else has prepared the food, and it is simply not child friendly. My sister, who lives with me, is the worlds worst about making food to spicy or complicated for them. The last meal she cooked, she make a cucumber salad in which she poured an ENTIRE bottle of balsamic vinegar over a small bowl of cucumbers. It was so strong, that even I could not eat it. I let them slide on that one, but I wonder if doing so is just making it worse. There are other things as well, that are reasonable choices, but may be sending the wrong message. When I was visiting my Dad, they served hot dogs for lunch. My youngest piped up and said, "I don't like hot dogs. They're not good for you." It really pissed my stepmother off, but I am not going to force anyone to eat a hot dog. Wise choice, but am I sending the wrong message?
I do not EVER reward my kids with food. I could not agree more about that being a HUGE problem. Similarly, I do not punish them with food either (take away a treat because they misbehaved) My ex husband did that constantly, and it is part of the cycle that has been set up. Fortunately, my ex has no contact with us. (Which is very good for many reasons) I pack them cold lunches for school, so I actually do have a lot of control. I wonder if the tone of "eat your food" has simply not been firmly enough set. I wonder if my "reasonable backdowns" are contributing to the problem. I wonder if it is just going to take some more time.
Oh my were we married to the same man? My ex is exactly the same. When we were married I would make delicious healthy food and he would eat soup and sandwiches in his office. Never sat for a family meal. Now when he and his wife have the kids its discusting. When he has to pack their school lunches its sad. Twinkies, chips, white bread, gross lunch meat. My oldest has been conditioned to love crap. My youngest is such a healthy eater. I try to plan menus with my oldest now but its hard. He likes what he eats with his Dad and stepmom. Everything out of boxes, hotdogs, chicken nuggests, lots of pizza. Makes me feel so terrible. They makes digs about healthy food too.
Anyway, sorry for the rant. I feel your pain. All you can do is your best. I actually blogged about healthy lunches for kids on my blog. If you look the date was 11/12 entitled Preventative Maintenance.
A packed lunch for my junk food lover....No nitrate turkey and cheese sandwiches on super healthy bread, carrots, apples, and I try to make a healthy treat. I've been posting some of the recipes on the blog.
Anyway, divorce is hard. Especially when the reasons you got divorced are amplified afterwards. Good luck and feel free to vent anytime to me!
I have tried the whole, "Eat the food or go to bed hungry," routine, and they have gone to bed hungry so many times that I gave up and made the rule that they must eat every bite on their plate. Obviously, I make sure not to put too much on their plates. I do not give in, unless someone else has prepared the food, and it is simply not child friendly. My sister, who lives with me, is the worlds worst about making food to spicy or complicated for them. The last meal she cooked, she make a cucumber salad in which she poured an ENTIRE bottle of balsamic vinegar over a small bowl of cucumbers. It was so strong, that even I could not eat it. I let them slide on that one, but I wonder if doing so is just making it worse. There are other things as well, that are reasonable choices, but may be sending the wrong message. When I was visiting my Dad, they served hot dogs for lunch. My youngest piped up and said, "I don't like hot dogs. They're not good for you." It really pissed my stepmother off, but I am not going to force anyone to eat a hot dog. Wise choice, but am I sending the wrong message?
I do not EVER reward my kids with food. I could not agree more about that being a HUGE problem. Similarly, I do not punish them with food either (take away a treat because they misbehaved) My ex husband did that constantly, and it is part of the cycle that has been set up. Fortunately, my ex has no contact with us. (Which is very good for many reasons) I pack them cold lunches for school, so I actually do have a lot of control. I wonder if the tone of "eat your food" has simply not been firmly enough set. I wonder if my "reasonable backdowns" are contributing to the problem. I wonder if it is just going to take some more time.
Thanks for your advice!
Hmmm.... it is such a tough situation. Have you tried getting creative as far as veggie and chicken preparation? I have a coworker who has a few kids and she roasts all of their veggies with olive oil and a lil' salt n' pepper... and they WILLINGLY eat brussel sprouts!
Maybe just do some research... there have got to be a million other parents going through the same issues with their children.
I really hope you make some progress with your little ones... I can't imagine how frustrating this all must be!
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Oh my were we married to the same man? My ex is exactly the same. When we were married I would make delicious healthy food and he would eat soup and sandwiches in his office. Never sat for a family meal. Now when he and his wife have the kids its discusting. When he has to pack their school lunches its sad. Twinkies, chips, white bread, gross lunch meat. My oldest has been conditioned to love crap. My youngest is such a healthy eater. I try to plan menus with my oldest now but its hard. He likes what he eats with his Dad and stepmom. Everything out of boxes, hotdogs, chicken nuggests, lots of pizza. Makes me feel so terrible. They makes digs about healthy food too.
Anyway, sorry for the rant. I feel your pain. All you can do is your best. I actually blogged about healthy lunches for kids on my blog. If you look the date was 11/12 entitled Preventative Maintenance.
A packed lunch for my junk food lover....No nitrate turkey and cheese sandwiches on super healthy bread, carrots, apples, and I try to make a healthy treat. I've been posting some of the recipes on the blog.
Anyway, divorce is hard. Especially when the reasons you got divorced are amplified afterwards. Good luck and feel free to vent anytime to me!
Can you link me to your blog? Or are you referring to your journal on this site?
I am trying to find ways to make their favorite foods healthier. I know that battered and deep fried chicken breast nuggets are not specifically healthy, but I would rather give them that as a treat than to take them to McDonald's. (That f***ing toy in the Happy Meal was such a brilliant marketing plan, but so detrimental to our children's health.) I can't get them to eat pizza with a flax seed crust, though. And it's kind of pointless to put pepperoni on top of it, anyway, lol.
I am sorry you have to deal with that sort of thing with your ex. Maybe in a few years when dad is so fat that he can't get off the couch without getting short of breath, and mom is still going strong your son will realize what you have been trying to teach him. As for me, I am fat from ten years of living with a controlling junk food junkie. I am working on it, but sadly, I am no shining example of what eating healthy can do for you.
Hmmm.... it is such a tough situation. Have you tried getting creative as far as veggie and chicken preparation? I have a coworker who has a few kids and she roasts all of their veggies with olive oil and a lil' salt n' pepper... and they WILLINGLY eat brussel sprouts!
Maybe just do some research... there have got to be a million other parents going through the same issues with their children.
I really hope you make some progress with your little ones... I can't imagine how frustrating this all must be!
They will eat plain baked chicken breast as long as they can dip it in ketchup. I'm the one who is sick of it and wants to find other healthy food for us to eat.
I am going to do some research. That would make a great forum topic for all of us mommies. Kid-friendly, clean recipes.
You can do it! I've been living a healthy lifestyle for about five years now. Lots of backlash from non-healthy family members. Sites like this are great for support!
My blog is [url=http://www.perfectlycrazyfitness.com]Perfectly Crazy Fitness[/url] I post recipes, training and basically anything that pops into my head. lol
Look on 11-12. I have a great recipe for healthier chocolate chip bars. I don't control what they eat but try to over healthier choices. Their dad is super controling from clothes, to hair etc. and I don't want them to rebel. But this healthy treat thing is working for us. They don't realize its 'better for them'!
They will eat plain baked chicken breast as long as they can dip it in ketchup. I'm the one who is sick of it and wants to find other healthy food for us to eat.
I am going to do some research. That would make a great forum topic for all of us mommies. Kid-friendly, clean recipes.
There ya go!!
Another good idea would be to buy a vegetarian cookbook and just add chicken or whatever kind of meat to the recipes. There are SO MANY good vegetarian recipes that incorporate a wide variety of veggies and other good foods, like beans, and you can always add chicken. The bulk of the recipes are all clean... and there is so much variety!
You can do it! I've been living a healthy lifestyle for about five years now. Lots of backlash from non-healthy family members. Sites like this are great for support!
My blog is [url=http://www.perfectlycrazyfitness.com]Perfectly Crazy Fitness[/url] I post recipes, training and basically anything that pops into my head. lol
Look on 11-12. I have a great recipe for healthier chocolate chip bars. I don't control what they eat but try to over healthier choices. Their dad is super controling from clothes, to hair etc. and I don't want them to rebel. But this healthy treat thing is working for us. They don't realize its 'better for them'!
I will definitely check out your blog. Thanks for the link.
That is crazy that their dad is so controlling about the things that don't matter and so lax with what is most important. My opinion is, pierce your nose, dye your hair green and wear the stupidest clothes you can find if that make you (the kids) happy, but take care of your body. You only get one.
My kids love chili too! Chili can be made in a very healthy fashion! Homemade baked chicken fingers too. My oldest also likes breakfast for dinner. He calls it brinner. You can make healthy french toast, eggs, fruit. That is a great meal most kids like.
Other things that are easily made healthy....tacos, homemade spaghetti, grilled meats, chicken soup. Ok, I spend way to much time thinking about food!
Oh you have no idea!! I'd vent more but it would just not be right!
Feel free to vent! Right or not, better out than in. I just pray that one day I get to the point where I really don't feel the need to bitch about the X anymore. It was just so bad, and I am so NOT over it all.
I stress about my kids diet ALL the time (he's only three) but he lives on crackers and toast, seriously. The kid is a carb addict and wont eat anything other then WHITE nutritionless carbs. His father only sees him every other weekend but we have no contact with one another and I highly doubt he ever thinks about feeding Gabe a healthy meal. He's a smoker and a drinker and a cold pizza for breakfast eater. I worry about the habits he is teaching my son.
BUT at the same time, I remember when I was a child I hated vegetables, I ate smarties for breakfast, and I lived for the cookie we got at the grocery store, and I turned out okay. Now I eat more vegetables then everyone in my family (extended included) combined. Sometimes they just gotta grow up I suppose, but sometimes I want to force feed him a piece of chicken......
Like I said, and after reading all the other replies... don't make food an issue. For a kid to eat a hot dog or pizza once in a while is not horrible. If they'll eat chicken when they can "dip it"-- GREAT, let them. Make tacos, chili, spagetti and meatballs, meatball sandwiches, turkey sandwiches etc...Make your own chicken fingers (REAL EASY)..."egg in a hole" on WW bread... healthier pancakes...
Try and get them to understand healthy eating. Tell the younger one it makes them grow faster, tell the bigger one they'll be taller than you if they eat right... blah blah. We have to do the best we can but also like the above poster said, I NEVER ate tuna as a kid. Now it is a staple for me. Same thing with anything with kids...tell them to read... they don't. I hated reading as a kid...Saturday I finished a 350+page book in a few hours. So just roll with it. Don't stress over it. These kinds of things are not worth it. It is important that they get some good along with the bad. Doesn't always have to be all perfect. They are kids. They'll be ok. I promise.
Keep trying though. Never give up but be encouraging to them. I also do not believe in the "finish your plate rule". They should eat and when they feel they are no longer hungry they should stop. Otherwise we are training them to eat til they are stuffed or when they don't want anymore. Another thing you can try is give smaller portions. That worked with my 2nd son.
Last edited by fit mom of 4; 11-23-2009 at 08:13 AM.
Feel free to vent! Right or not, better out than in. I just pray that one day I get to the point where I really don't feel the need to bitch about the X anymore. It was just so bad, and I am so NOT over it all.
Feel free to vent, but he sounds like he is not worth your precious time and effort!! You are a better person for all of what you dealt with.
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