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This is a discussion on My son is driving me crazy... within the Relationships and Family Life forums,----- Im so frustrated with my son... So here comes a rant...
He just takes his school work lightly and puts ...
Im so frustrated with my son... So here comes a rant...
He just takes his school work lightly and puts all his effort into sports.
I warned him that we would take his sports away from him if he didnt step up to the plate with his grades. Well I got his report card and it wasnt at all what I know he can do and it just pisses me off...
My first instict is to say "no wrestling" but then I thought about the alternative. He's going to stay home all winter getting zero exercise eating crap and playing video games. Since its cold and crappy out there isnt too much more for him to do. So what do I do? Im so confused. Do I pull him from wrestling or do I find another way to punish him?
Maybe you need to pull the video games instead? Tell him no video games until his grades improve. I agree that pulling wrestling and letting him eat crap is not a good idea.
Maybe you need to pull the video games instead? Tell him no video games until his grades improve. I agree that pulling wrestling and letting him eat crap is not a good idea.
What grade is he in?
Hey beauty, he's in the 10th grade so this is no surprize to him at all... He wouldnt care if I took the video games away from him cause with wrestling he's so exhausted that he dosent really even touch them anymore... That is why I wanted to take something that would really make an inpact on him you know?
Ughhh... Its so frustrating... Your a teacher, how do you deal with stuff like this?
It needs to be something that he really wants like a new pair of sneakers, an Ipod or a new video game... And make him work for it. Giving him something to work for might help increase his work ethic.
When I or my bro and sister who were in sports. GOt a bad grade mom took everything away from us, we also got spankings, yes even in high shcool we got 1 lickfor ever D and 2 for an F, with a belt.
Mom took car, friends, phone, video games, computer, TV, football, cheerleading, everything for 4 weeks or until our grade was starting to get up. She'd also call and talkt ot the teacher and see if there was anyway we could do extra credit. She'd say it's you and your books lol and make us bring weekly reports home every week. My bro and sister were Honor roll and principals honor roll after freshman year. I was usually an A,B with a C in math kinda gal. I love her for it. She was strict but fair I think.
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Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. ~Benjamin Disraeli
I want to add she was so hard on us because she started having kids waaaaay to early and didn't take school seriously, no one pushed her. Her mom was never around and didn't know her dad.
She was at one point a single mom with 3 kids working 2 full time jobs and going to school to get her AA and didn't want us to have such a hard time as adults.
I would have his wrestling coach speak with him. So often at that age, kids respond to parents with defiance. However, since he really respects his coach and team, involving his coach will make a difference. Call his coach and have him discuss with your son the importance of grades.
Maybe even take him to a college wrestling match. Show him that those kids didn't get on that team just for wrestling well. They had to make the grades.
So often as parents we react with enforcing more and more restrictions. However, that just makes our kids angrier and angrier, causing them to rebel even worse. Try getting him a job volunteering or give him extra chores. Even have him help out neighbors. Just keep him busy outside of wrestling. Also make sure when he gets home from wrestling, he sits at his desk and does his homework. NO EXCUSES. No t.v., no games, no phone, just work.
I want to add she was so hard on us because she started having kids waaaaay to early and didn't take school seriously, no one pushed her. Her mom was never around and didn't know her dad.
She was at one point a single mom with 3 kids working 2 full time jobs and going to school to get her AA and didn't want us to have such a hard time as adults.
Oh Im right there with you. Alex and I decided no wrestling. I have no choice. I have been warning him and warning him but apparently he didnt take me seriously so I have to stick to my guns and do this so he knows Im not playing with him. He should already know what to do he's a sophmore, Im just tired of him and his games.
Its KILLING me to do this but I have to. I agree, I didnt have anyone behind me to push me and I dropped out of school. I eventually went back but the point is if I had someone behind me pushing me I would have graduated with my class and believe me I reget that every year when graduation rolls around...
Does he have a wrestling coach that will back you up on the importance of studying and grades? That could help.
No his jacksass coach I assume will be calling me shortly to try to change my my mind. Seems to me all he cares about is winning. Which is a shame. This same guy is my son's football coach as well. During the season my son had to have surgery and he gave my son a hard time telling him "you should have waited till football season was over"... So that is the person Im dealing with.
***OMG just as I assumed... His coach just texted me "I understand. Im going to talk to his Art teacher and see if I can get him to change his grade"... Can you believe this?
I would have his wrestling coach speak with him. So often at that age, kids respond to parents with defiance. However, since he really respects his coach and team, involving his coach will make a difference. Call his coach and have him discuss with your son the importance of grades.
Maybe even take him to a college wrestling match. Show him that those kids didn't get on that team just for wrestling well. They had to make the grades.
So often as parents we react with enforcing more and more restrictions. However, that just makes our kids angrier and angrier, causing them to rebel even worse. Try getting him a job volunteering or give him extra chores. Even have him help out neighbors. Just keep him busy outside of wrestling. Also make sure when he gets home from wrestling, he sits at his desk and does his homework. NO EXCUSES. No t.v., no games, no phone, just work.
I wished that I could rely on his coach. I spoke to him all through football season and just recently at a wrestling meeting. I told him that he needed to stay on Aaron (my son) because this was his last chance. He assured me that he would but he didnt.
He just texted me to tell me that he's going to try to have his grade changed. I dont think that is right. I've been dealing with this since he entered middle school. I feel like if I dont dig in now he'll never take me seriously. I feel horrible about it because I want the best for him but he needs to know that school is first then everything else follows.
Good for you, stick to your guns and take away what matters the most. His coach sounds like an ass and if I were the teacher I would NOT change the grade.
I am sorry girl...I am having issues with my teens as well right now.
I think adding chores might help....it may help him with the work ethic. Also having him sit when he gets home and study and do his homework...no excuses.
Why is it so hard to do the right thing? I have a lump in my thoat and have even cried a few times today. I have no appetite either... This totally sucks. Raising kids is HARD...
Don't give in girl...stick to your word, if he wants it bad enough he'll get his S**t together in a fast enough matter to still wrestle. YOu warned him, he didn't listen these are the breaks...the decision is his now. And if he whines about it or gives you attitude, I would tell him just that...that the only one who can change it now is him.
Really thanks for the support it really means a lot. Im going to stick to my plan and not give in no matter how hard it is. Like Ambrella said if he wants it badly enough then he will take care of his business and still be able to get on the mat. So we will see...
I feel for you as I am also going through this with my 14 year old daughter...it is not easy!
I would think about making sure he is bored stupid at home whilst not wresling, I would make sure he doesn't fill in the time with video games but make him so bored he will think twice about not studying.
My daughter only studys if there is nothing else to do, so if she brings home a bad result, the dvds, computer and games go until the grades come up.
Clare makes a good point,but I also think he should have to volunteer for at least an hour a week. Soup kitchen, day care, nursing home, hospital wing something. Because if there is one thing I notice with my 8th graders, and it's only getting worse, is no respect or compassion for others.
Volunteer work, food drives, toy drives etc. are being tossed out of schools in favor of state testing prep. and I feel kids these days are losing the ability to care for and about others....
I feel for you as I am also going through this with my 14 year old daughter...it is not easy!
I would think about making sure he is bored stupid at home whilst not wresling, I would make sure he doesn't fill in the time with video games but make him so bored he will think twice about not studying.
My daughter only studys if there is nothing else to do, so if she brings home a bad result, the dvds, computer and games go until the grades come up.
Thanks for the advice... Oh he's bored alright, he's driving me nuts. You know how they get. I offered for him to come to the gym with me and you would have thought I told him to jump off the roof... Like isnt this kid a wrestler? the gym should be a cake walk... Maybe it was hanging out at the gym with your mother? LMAO!!!!
My son is driving me crazy...
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