Need Your Unbiased Opinion on teacher

We moved to a new state and my daughter started first grade at a new school. Since the beginning of the year I have received about six of these types of emails from her teacher. My daughter went to nursery school, pre-k, and kindergarten having never received a bad comment from any teachers. I get absolutely no feedback from this teacher unless it is bad.

Not only am I concerned about the negative feedback, but also her approach. It seems rather childish and condescending. I have received worse than this. Essentially they all say my child is whiny, non participatory, and a bully. She also compares my child to other students and makes sure that I know there are at least 18 other kids smarter than mine.

She always writes to tell me the negative things that other teachers say about my daughter, but when I ask those teachers, they do not respond.

I completely understand my daughter is not perfect. I know that she is very observant, thus easily distracted. I also know that she can be slow when working. However, her class test scores are always 95% and above. Her state testing shows marks one to two grades levels about where she should be.

Anyway, here is the latest email... And not the worst of them:

Hi,
We have a new student and Gwyn seems to be having a hard time adjusting to her. She is very bright and is reading in the top group. Some of the books are limited in their number and we only had 6 last week. I thought it may be nice for Gwyn to befriend her since she is also from the east coast and they have some Florida stories in common. Anyway, I asked Gwyn to share with her during reading while they were outside on the lawn. A parent had to ask Gwyn twice to share and she still refused and made her partner sit alone with no book. Mrs. L has said Gwyn is mopey and very uninterested when at book club too. I know Gwyn had mentioned returning to book club but this is the same attitude she had last time. They are really challenged in their approach to reading aloud and their questions they are asked but I think Gwyn wants to just read alone which is not at all what happens in book club. Perhaps you could discuss with her and see what her attitude is about going. I dont want her to go and just take up space. There are 12 kids reading at or above that level so other kids are begging to go and only 6 get to. Maybe it is just getting back into the swing of things after break. She seemed very tired today. I stood right next to her desk and she did 3 math problems in 10 minutes. Even with prompting, she was just blank and sitting there. I sent it home for her to finish.
Thanks for your help with this!


Of course, I always discuss these matters immediately and make my daughter take action. I do listen to her side of the story, but this doesn't sway disciplinary actions. As far as the book sharing, she told me the girl was calling her names and hurting her feelings. Book club has been a disaster from day one. The book club teacher kicked her out after one day for reasons unexplained. I guess she was just taking up space....

Any feedback would be wonderful... even if you tell me I am crazy.

[fit mom of 4]

Honey, YOU are not crazy and your daughter is a CHILD. This teacher has a serious problem. THIS is unreal. I will think about this for a bit and get back... just had to make that point. Holy CRAP.

[fit mom of 4]

Ok, well first off moving and starting in a new school is difficut let alone being in grade one (desks, structure, uniforms(?)) Anyway, this teacher sounds very insensitive and like a bit of a bully herself. Has any other parent had these types of issues with her?

As for your daughter, I would try and find out how she is feeling and see if she will share if she has any ill feelings toward the teacher or something in the class. Sounds to me like she may be bored, as she is very bright. Often times kids will act out or not act as themselves in this type of situation. This is something the TEACHER should recognize and deal with. I have a daughter in grade 1 as well, so I know what kind of adjustment it can be. You just have to try and enforce sharing and being kind to others, especially new people (you can tell her she is the best person for that cuz she knows exactly how new people feel and that is special) and that the most important thing is being kind and respectful to others. Try and find out WHAT about the book club is bothering her... is she in a group that is too easy for her? too hard? Is it the other kids in the group?
As for the teacher, gosh, can you speak to a principal? Show them these emails which are highly inappropriate and judgemental.
I don't know what else to say, I am appaled.

Originally Posted by kjdavis

We moved to a new state and my daughter started first grade at a new school. Since the beginning of the year I have received about six of these types of emails from her teacher. My daughter went to nursery school, pre-k, and kindergarten having never received a bad comment from any teachers. I get absolutely no feedback from this teacher unless it is bad.

Not only am I concerned about the negative feedback, but also her approach. It seems rather childish and condescending. I have received worse than this. Essentially they all say my child is whiny, non participatory, and a bully. She also compares my child to other students and makes sure that I know there are at least 18 other kids smarter than mine.

She always writes to tell me the negative things that other teachers say about my daughter, but when I ask those teachers, they do not respond.

I completely understand my daughter is not perfect. I know that she is very observant, thus easily distracted. I also know that she can be slow when working. However, her class test scores are always 95% and above. Her state testing shows marks one to two grades levels about where she should be.

Anyway, here is the latest email... And not the worst of them:
[COLOR="Indigo"]
Hi,
We have a new student and Gwyn seems to be having a hard time adjusting to her. She is very bright and is reading in the top group. Some of the books are limited in their number and we only had 6 last week. I thought it may be nice for Gwyn to befriend her since she is also from the east coast and they have some Florida stories in common. Anyway, I asked Gwyn to share with her during reading while they were outside on the lawn. A parent had to ask Gwyn twice to share and she still refused and made her partner sit alone with no book. Mrs. L has said Gwyn is mopey and very uninterested when at book club too. I know Gwyn had mentioned returning to book club but this is the same attitude she had last time. They are really challenged in their approach to reading aloud and their questions they are asked but I think Gwyn wants to just read alone which is not at all what happens in book club. Perhaps you could discuss with her and see what her attitude is about going. I dont want her to go and just take up space. There are 12 kids reading at or above that level so other kids are begging to go and only 6 get to. Maybe it is just getting back into the swing of things after break. She seemed very tired today. I stood right next to her desk and she did 3 math problems in 10 minutes. Even with prompting, she was just blank and sitting there. I sent it home for her to finish.
Thanks for your help with this![/COLOR]


Of course, I always discuss these matters immediately and make my daughter take action. I do listen to her side of the story, but this doesn't sway disciplinary actions. As far as the book sharing, she told me the girl was calling her names and hurting her feelings. Book club has been a disaster from day one. The book club teacher kicked her out after one day for reasons unexplained. I guess she was just taking up space....

Any feedback would be wonderful... even if you tell me I am crazy.

[BeanBabe]

I am no expert but it appears as if yor daughter is not motivated by her teacher and might be bored. She has proven by her test scores and capability to read that is is able to progress in grade 1. Children respond differently to different teaching styles, it is the professionals job to mould her teaching not your eight year old can't changes the way she learns. As far as not sharing the book...have you asked your daughter why she didn't want to share with the new girl?

[Mloveb]

Well firstly I don't think it's right to tell you about other children good or bad. I really think of that progress as something personal to the family.
When I read the message I read it as if she were just trying to tell you the story about what happend, at first. When I read it I think your daughter just doesn't like this teacher. I was just assuming that by her not doing what the teacher says and a child if working with someone they trust will tell them that someone is making fun of them.
If it were me and I saw this often I would go to the principal with all the emails. Your daughter is in what first grade? From what I gather. She doesn't have to like everyone, and taking up space? That is just offensive really it is.
Esp since other teachers aren't telling you anything is wrong, she shouldn't speak for them.

[fit mom of 4]

Originally Posted by Mloveb

Well firstly I don't think it's right to tell you about other children good or bad. I really think of that progress as something personal to the family.
When I read the message I read it as if she were just trying to tell you the story about what happend, at first. When I read it I think your daughter just doesn't like this teacher. I was just assuming that by her not doing what the teacher says and a child if working with someone they trust will tell them that someone is making fun of them.
If it were me and I saw this often I would go to the principal with all the emails. Your daughter is in what first grade? From what I gather. She doesn't have to like everyone, and taking up space? That is just offensive really it is.
Esp since other teachers aren't telling you anything is wrong, she shouldn't speak for them.

I agree... this taking up space comment is horrible. People like her should not be teaching. Period.

I know. I am beginning to wonder who is the adult in the classroom. I used to teach. I had some really rough kids who utterly failed and were the biggest PAINS. I NEVER once said anything negative to a parent. If I had a conference or a call, I would point out all of the positives and then note goals we need to work toward. This woman has never said one nice thing to my child.

Gwyneth loves her teacher. I just feel this woman is very biased toward a select few students. She has her favorites and it is obvious. She tells me about them all the time.

I have done much thinking on this and plan to visit some of the charter schools in my area tomorrow. I taught at Charter Schools and that is where she went previously. I truly believe in the system.

I am going to have a big talk with Gwyn tonight. I feel that perhaps I have been too harsh on her about the whole thing. I am very strict when it comes to respect. I was more focused on correcting her behavior and not focused enough on her teacher's behavior.

I honestly think teaching is a profession where men and women get burned out. they stick with it because of the pension and not because they love what they do. She hold many accolades and is highly esteemed in the area. That doesn't make her a great teacher, though. It just means she jumps through all the hoops to get those bonuses.

Ugh. I told her I want to set up a conference. I am going to let her know that it hurts to read things like this about my daughter, and that I want what is best for her.

[KKKRRR]

It really just sounds like the teacher is trying to pick a fight. If she is that intolerant towards the way MOST if not all kids act she should not be a teacher. (Not to mention your daughter seems to be excelling in the academic aspect of school.)

The teacher really sounds immature. Seriously.

I set an appt with her next week. In her email she wrote:

"I told Gwyn I would tell you she had a better day."

GGRRR! Just her wording. Why can't she just say, "Gwyn had a great day today!"


Oh, and I asked Gwyn to write her an apology letter for her behavior. I asked if she gave her teacher the letter and what feedback she received. Gwyn said she just read it silently and didn't respond. WHAAA????

Only 1.5 quarters left, right?

[firespinner93]

First of all, where did this woman get her teaching degree? Her writing alone is an absolute nightmare. I want to mark her email up with a red pen and send it back with a big, fat F for grammar written on it.

She told your daughter she would tell you she had a better day? How much sarcasm was in her voice when she told your daughter this?

I think her emails are very inappropriate. If she is having such a problem with your daughter she should have requested a conference with you. She should be able to find something positive to say about every student, or she should find a new job.

[dbroncofan]

Wow girl..that teacher is a hot mess!! I am so sorry!

[MsGuns]

So she emailed you cause your daughter wouldnt share a book?
Why cant she read alone?



I called a parent about her daughter being defiant when it comes to chewing gum in PE. I asked the gurl to spit it out and she had the nerve to put more in (probably didnt spit the gum out). I also asked her to stop wearing jewelry to class. This is a daily thing. So I called hm and the mom said you are callin about gum...i said im calling about her being defiant w/ gum and jewelry. I guess Im suppose to just let chew the gum and wear the jewelry. I guess Im suppose to tell her everyday to spit the gum out and take off the jewelry...why cant she just do what she is asked or what is expected of her....sorry
end of my rant.

Originally Posted by firespinner93

First of all, where did this woman get her teaching degree? Her writing alone is an absolute nightmare. I want to mark her email up with a red pen and send it back with a big, fat F for grammar written on it.

She told your daughter she would tell you she had a better day? How much sarcasm was in her voice when she told your daughter this?

I think her emails are very inappropriate. If she is having such a problem with your daughter she should have requested a conference with you. She should be able to find something positive to say about every student, or she should find a new job.

You are funny! She is actually one of the top teachers in the district... yeah, so. I did schedule a meeting with her Monday.

Originally Posted by MsGuns

So she emailed you cause your daughter wouldnt share a book?
Why cant she read alone?



I called a parent about her daughter being defiant when it comes to chewing gum in PE. I asked the gurl to spit it out and she had the nerve to put more in (probably didnt spit the gum out). I also asked her to stop wearing jewelry to class. This is a daily thing. So I called hm and the mom said you are callin about gum...i said im calling about her being defiant w/ gum and jewelry. I guess Im suppose to just let chew the gum and wear the jewelry. I guess Im suppose to tell her everyday to spit the gum out and take off the jewelry...why cant she just do what she is asked or what is expected of her....sorry
end of my rant.

Yeah, some parents don't get it. Rules are rules.

Okay, so I met with the teacher and my daughter on Monday.

Book sharing: The teacher even ADMITTED that the girl had been calling my daughter names and making fun of her before she was forced to share a book with her!!!! Did she email the other child's parents? Nope. Anyway, over that whole thing.

Everything that I gather from this teacher gives me the feeling that she is super laid back. And she really doesn't manage her classroom well. Sure, she has a billion certificates, goes to a thousand classes a month, teaches about her innovative ideas.... But, she lets my daughter sit on the floor and use her chair as a desk. she lets kids get up and walk around the room during work time. She tells them, "I don't care how or where you do your work as long as you get it done."

Um, my daughter needs structure. She needs a thumb on her to keep her on task. She is very easily distracted. In fact, I think pretty much all first graders are to some point.

I had them set a goal together that should last through the end of the year. Just have to survive 15 more weeks or something. Ugh.

[SandyFit]

Wow...missed this entire thread somehow! I agree with the others. I would never have approached parents with all negativity. I ALWAYS tried to focus on good things that were happening with the child (even if I had to grasp at straws, I found something good to say). I can't believe that the one time she writes something positive she says "I told Gwyn I would tell you ....". Like she has no desire to say positive things.
I can understand the whole accomodating thing...honestly I can. I taught in a low income school, LD inclusion, and some of these kids had really had it tough. The previous teacher had left because she had a nervous breakdown....seriously. But, the teacher has to get to know each child well enough to understand their needs. I know this is difficult. I had some who really needed structure. I had one that I would let sit behind my desk when he would feel out of control. He had some real anger issues and I found he could function better when he could remove himself from the other kids. I didn't always allow him to do this and other children did not do this. I really tried to foster a room of individuals. We are each different and have our own needs. These needs don't equal chaos in the room, they equal respect and understanding for eachother. The room was always orderly. In life you have to be able to function within society and find ways to adapt. That is what I tried to stress.That was the hardest group of kids I ever taught and I just loved them!! We had a successful year and it was great!
That is what is about.
I agree many teachers get burnt out..undertandable. I felt totally exhausted the last year I taught. It really wore on me. I have not been back in the classroom in almost 8 years! I loved what I did and I loved those kids, but it is A LOT of work.
Some teacher forget why they are there, and I think that is the case this time!
Wow..I really got winded here....sorry.

[Mynxie]

Wow, just read your thread. Sorry to hear that your daughter's teacher is so negative. It seems your daughter is not challenged or is bored in this class. Have you met with the Charter schools yet?