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This is a discussion on Middle Aged Dating within the Relationships and Family Life forums,----- It's been two years since I left my ex-husband. In the beginning, I dabbled a bit in the dating world, ...
It's been two years since I left my ex-husband. In the beginning, I dabbled a bit in the dating world, but decided that I really needed space for myself before I went there. I took that space, and it was much needed. I recently decided to take the plunge again. Let me tell ya, middle aged dating SUCKS. I thought dating in my early twenties sucked, but it's got nothing on this.
Men don't seem to change much from eighteen to fifty. That is the main thing I am noticing. I am beginning to understand why so many women my age start dating other women rather than men. I don't know if I am going to keep this up or not. I've been perfectly happy to be alone for the last two years. Maybe I'll be happier alone for the next twenty. Who knows, I just know I am very discouraged by my dating prospects at this point.
I am sorry you are going through this. When my mother left my dad, she was in her late 30's. She had a few serious relationships, dated a bit. Every guy seemed to break her heart. She sort of gave up and hasn't been on a date in at least 10 years. It breaks my heart to see. But, she felt the same as you. She would rather be single and lonely than dating and miserable.
HAve you tried online dating? Some of the higher end sites are supposed to help you weed out the weirdos.
MY SIL is in her mid 40s and in DC area she went to several speed dating meets and got a few good guys that way.
Online dating and speed dating I hear good things about.
Of course it's about what makes you happy!
Good luck!
__________________
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I am sorry you are going through this. When my mother left my dad, she was in her late 30's. She had a few serious relationships, dated a bit. Every guy seemed to break her heart. She sort of gave up and hasn't been on a date in at least 10 years. It breaks my heart to see. But, she felt the same as you. She would rather be single and lonely than dating and miserable.
HAve you tried online dating? Some of the higher end sites are supposed to help you weed out the weirdos.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mloveb
MY SIL is in her mid 40s and in DC area she went to several speed dating meets and got a few good guys that way.
Online dating and speed dating I hear good things about.
Of course it's about what makes you happy!
Good luck!
I can identify with how your mom feels, KJ. I am not too far removed from doing the exact same thing.
I have tried online dating, and every time I meet someone in person I completely clam up. I'm not sure what's up with that. It's not really my personality at all, but there is something about meeting someone from a dating site that just completely shuts me down. Once, I had been talking to this guy for over four months (we lived in different states). When it finally came time to meet, he was coming to pick me up and needed directions. We were on the phone with each other chatting like old buddies until he pulled into the driveway. By the time he hit the front door, I was struck completely dumb, and was a complete wreck around him. I can be a little shy at times, but this was ridiculous. I thought maybe there was just too many expectations after talking for so long without meeting. But it has happened every single time I have met someone from a dating site, no matter how long we have been talking. Maybe I should try the speed dating. That might be fun and do away with some of the jitters. Maybe I should just get a few cats instead. I'm joking. Mostly.
Another good tip that I learned when working for a celebrity dating coach... you gotta hang out where the men are. Ball games, hardware stores, ect. Got o Home Depot on the weekends, take a friend to a baseball game. Really get out there where the guys are likely to be rather than hanging out are bars or whatever (not saying you do).
As far as confidence, it is all in how you perceive yourself. You have to really ask if you are being real on the phone with them or in emails. If you are, then they really like you already, so why worry? If you aren't, then figure out why you are afraid to be yourself.
I just watched She's Out of My League. It was a cute, sort of corny movie, but had a valid point. The gist of the story was this average guy with a crappy job meets this super gorgeous well-established woman. She pursues him, and he gets to the point where he feels uncomfortable being with her.
He said that he was a 5 at best and she was a 10. She told him that what makes him not a 10 is that he doesn't believe he is one.
So, believe you are a 10, baby. then go out and act like one with these guys.
As far as confidence, it is all in how you perceive yourself. You have to really ask if you are being real on the phone with them or in emails. If you are, then they really like you already, so why worry? If you aren't, then figure out why you are afraid to be yourself.
This is the best advice I've gotten all year. Maybe even over a coupla years.
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