Keeping the spice

[Jaclyn Ball]

How do you keep the flame burning with your husbad with a baby? I feel like Addyson is number one, Johnny is number 2, and I have taken the back seat. We haven't had sex in over a month now because I am too tired and honestly don't feel the drive anymore. I am only 23!!! I work all day and so does he. By the time Addyson is in bed (about 9) I am ready for bed. I don't know if it is because I still do not feel confident in my body or the busy days that I have.

[alygrrl]

It could be a little bit of both...I feel the same way. The confidence just isn't there anymore and neither is my energy levels.
My bf and I jsut try to make time for each other...but it is no where near as spicy as it used to be

[Nic902]

I feel you girl...We dont have any kids, but our spice is LONG gone. Unfortunately, I too have lost that drive...It takes work, but then that takes the spice out of it, it sucks!

Have you talked to your man about it? How is he feeling?

[BeanBabe]

Before we got married we did some pre marital classes. She mentioned that a lot of couples fall into the trap of caring for the kids and neglecting the relationship. She suggested date night or even small acts of love towards each other.

I don't have kids so I don't know how it feels after having a baby, that could be another side to the coin too.

As for right now how to we keep the spice??? I am a very physical person and I need to be touched. The hubby will give me a little pat on the butt when he walks by or cop a feel when he can, it makes me feel sexy and like I am still wanted. The best part is that he will still do this when I have bed head and I am in my pj's. I suggest discovering what makes YOU feel wanted and sexy, then be sure to let him know.

[Jaclyn Ball]

Thanks ladies. It is good to know I am not a freak who just doesn't need sex. This morning he helped out a lot around the house and I got turned on. WTH?!?! It just felt nice to have help again. With football season going on, he is rarely home so I have to do a lot. Maybe the lack of a body in the home turned me off. I don't like to be touched when I am tired. I get moody and want to be alone and curl up on the couch. Also, with tiredness comes lower self-esteem because I get so frustrated and dog myself. I guess it is still a part of ED that rears its ugly face. I am way to hard on myself, but I never realize how it affects others around me.

Having date night is hard because Addyson is only 10months old and wants constant attention. We try to take her to restaurants which is sometimes an adventure. I can't take her to movies just yet. I think once she is of age to have a baby sitter, things will perk back up for sure. I just have to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Again, thank you ladies for the support and comments.