Do I Fight?

[LittleAsianDoll]

Originally Posted by Mloveb

LAD, I am sorry about your situtation you sound like you respect your mother and this is what is holding you back.
I don't think you should tell your mother honestly, it sounds like you've said your piece. Parents keep things from us all the time, even as adults, to protect our hearts and you can afford her the same. Obviously, these things hurt her, it sounds almost like she isn't ready for you to grow up.
There a few things my mom said no to, I wasn't allowed to get my bellybutton pierced or tats, my curfew was 9:30 and I was allowed to stay at friends and boys houses as long as she knew the parents and had a ph# to get a hold of me at all times. My mom said about bellybutton second earpiercing and tattoo was if you want them when you are out of my house get them. I have gotten them and she says wow so you really did want all those things, I waited a long time because my mom said no so I wanted to be sure I really wanted these things and it wasn't a teenage angst thing, which I never really wen through and it sounds like you don't either.

Your leaving home soon and will techinally be on your own. Somethings are better kept unsaid even though your moving out and will be on your own, I think somethings are better kept from parents, to keep from hurting them. They protect you and you protect them. Haha well this is my relationship with my mom she is my best friend but when it comes to my illnesses and out of $$ I keep those from her until they are over. My decision to get implants next year, she doesn't know. I asked her about hers and all she said was you don't want those. So when I get them she'll know afterward because it's just not something she wants for me.

Anyway, good luck with your decision. Your such a smart girl with a level head. You'll make what you feel is the right decision.

I've been thinking about it a lot lately and I finally get that I'm not going to share everything with her because I think our relationship would suffer quite a bit. It's true, she really isn't "ready," I think. I had a problem with that idea because I though it might mean that I'm demeaning her by saying even though she's an adult, she couldn't "handle" these things, and I consider her fully capable. But I thought about it and there are some things I don't care to know if she has done or not. Maybe I think too much! ha!

Really, thank you sooo much! You girls have helped me more than you know!!!

[Lany]

Coming from an Asian family, I know what you mean. Asian families tend to be super protective.
I would just tell your mom that you are grateful to have a mom who cares so much about you but she has to let you learn to do things on your own. It is part of growing up and that you will ALWAYS remember all the great things she taught you.

[beautyinprogress]

Originally Posted by LittleAsianDoll

My god! Your situation really gives me perspective... I mean, my case is mild at best compared to yours. Fighting all the time, that's exactly what I'm afraid of. So you never went against her will? Do you regret that?

I live in Florida now...They were so overprotective of me when I was living with them, that as soon as I could I moved out and many states away. We get along fine over the phone, but when we're in the same house it gets pretty rough after a few days.

When I lived with them, I never really went against their will. When I moved out I got my first tattoo and it took me 3 yrs to tell them because I was afraid they'd kill me....They're not too happy but they seem to accept that I am now an adult and I consider that progress.....