Join today and start a FREE online personal health or exercise journal. You can also Sign Up To become a VIP member and remove all ads when browsing this website.
This is a discussion on Leading guys on?!?! WTF! within the You're Not Alone! forums,----- Girls, I am very, very confused.
I honestly don't try to make it a point to flirt with every guy ...
I honestly don't try to make it a point to flirt with every guy I see. I just talk, and I am myself, and yet I get it thrown back at me by people saying that I am "leading them on".
A guy from BB.com had been messaging me for awhile. A mod, actually. And I was definitely just being friendly, and not saying anything in a flirtatious way or whatever. Just...you know...friendly talk. So anyway, he asked me out to DINNER this week, and I told him, "I think I'm a bit too young for you." He thought I was blowing him off, and he started getting upset saying that I shouldn't tell him that he'll "meet someone else who is sweet and nice" because it's a cliche.
I WAS NOT FLIRTING WITH THIS GUY. Or at least I didn't think I was.
He finds out I'm in my teens, and is completely shocked about it. I don't blame him, but at the same time these people always ASSUME I am older than I am, and then when they find out I'm not, they blame it on me. Uh. What?
I'm sorry, it's just the way I am. I'm very friendly, very open, and I will talk with just about ANYONE. So I'm sorry if everyone takes me the wrong way. But I can't just tape my mouth shut and never speak again.
It's because I look older, and I act mature, and I have something more to say than, "How's the weather?" I hate it. I hate being watched. I hate having people lurk over me to see what I'm saying, and to see if they can twist it around and make it sound flirty or suggestive. It so fucking ridiculous.
__________________
"It's funny...the harder I train and better I eat.....the better my genetics seem to get." - G. Diesel
Darlin' that is just the way of a lot of (but not all) men. The men who fall into this category have two types of non-family women in their lives. Type one is women they'd like to, ahem, be with, and type two is women they don't want to be with. They talk to type one women, and avidly ignore type two women. They can't possibly stretch their little minds enough to think that anyone would operate differently than they, so in his mind, if you spoke to him, it's because you want him.
Sound stupid? Yes, it is totally stupid, but it's also totally true. It's not you, it's him/them.
And actually, I mislabeled these guys. They're not men, they're little boys. The problem is that even a forty five year old can be a little boy.
You be you and dont let that jerk get you down girl... Its his problem not yours. What was your opening line supposed to be "Hi my name is ___ and Im ___ years old"? Who does that? Especially when your not trying to take it "there"...
But I would like to add that when ever I get a message from a dude on any site first thing I tell them is, thank them for the compliment but I let them know I am in a relationship because I have learned the hard way that normally they are contacting you to hook up in someway, be it dirty talk to going out.
I say thank you for whatever they just said and I am perfectly willing to chit chat and friends with the same interests but I am in a faithful relationship. Then I ask whatever I am asking. The ones that truely want to talk will respond usually with nah just want to talk about whatever. The ones who didn't either will not rely or rely with K sorry....
You could possbily put a spin on that as I am just on here for friends not relationships but I do certainly want to talk about PLing or BBing or something like that.
I assume he thought you knew that and that's why he felt "strug on", but honestly most men that contact you out of the blue on the net want as I mentioned to hook up some way or another.
__________________
Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. ~Benjamin Disraeli
It's not your fault -- being nice and friendly has gotten me into these situations too. You may not be leading them on -- but boys will be boys, and they will read into things, hoping for a certain result. Just keep being you. And no, you shouldn't have to announce your age on any message board. That's ridiculous.
That's just the thing, girls. This guy is NOT a little boy! He's well into his 30's.
It wasn't so much a hook-up thing at first. I posted something, and he had commented by saying that he admired my work so far, etc. And we would just talk about day-to-day things...it was in no way a sort of "Hey I like you, I want to go out with you" kind of talking.
If anything, I don't announce my age for SECURITY reasons! How much easier would it be for someone to stalk you (literally) if they knew your age and location? It's bad enough that they see pictures of you and know your name! Jeez!!
I hate to break it to ya...but it happens all the time! Especially because you tend to form relationships with guys (much like myself). I'll chat with dudes then they get all mad when I say I have a BF...Like I'm supposed to say "Hey, how are ya...I have a BF"?!?! Just keep being who you are and let the lame dudes weed themselves out....dont let them get to ya
I hate to break it to ya...but it happens all the time! Especially because you tend to form relationships with guys (much like myself). I'll chat with dudes then they get all mad when I say I have a BF...Like I'm supposed to say "Hey, how are ya...I have a BF"?!?! Just keep being who you are and let the lame dudes weed themselves out....dont let them get to ya
Exactly! And then if you do start out by saying you have a boyfriend, they act all offended like -- oh, I wasn't hitting on you or anything, geez! -- so that doesn't work either. Ugh, boys. I'm so sorry to inform you there are some who never grow up.
I hate to break it to ya...but it happens all the time! Especially because you tend to form relationships with guys (much like myself). I'll chat with dudes then they get all mad when I say I have a BF...Like I'm supposed to say "Hey, how are ya...I have a BF"?!?! Just keep being who you are and let the lame dudes weed themselves out....dont let them get to ya
I KNOW!! I get this all the time. They think I am interested JUST because I start a conversation with them...annoying! But mine goes a little something different:
"Hey how are you....yeah...I am married AND I have three kids." When/if it ever gets to that part of a convo, you should see their eyes bulge out!! LOL! I actually get a lot of enjoyment out of it Everyone thinks I am a college student and is just shocked when they find out that not only am I married but I don't just have 1 or 2 BUT 3 kiddos. He he he.
Similar Threads
Leading guys on?!?! WTF!
Everyone thinks I am a college student and is just shocked when they find out that not only am I married but I don't just have 1 or 2 BUT 3 kiddos. He he he.
Linear Mode
