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This is a discussion on so sad within the You're Not Alone! forums,----- Guys, my grandpa died this morning. My hubby and I were taking a drive at lunch having a good ol' ...
Guys, my grandpa died this morning. My hubby and I were taking a drive at lunch having a good ol' time...then he got the call. They figured it would be better for him to tell me.
My heart hurts. He had a stroke earlier this year and once he was stable, he asked for me and my son specifically. Once we had some time to go, both me and my son got sick...couldn't go then. But once we were better, they said he was doing so much better and weren't sure if they were going to transfer him to a different facility. We never made it to see him. I kept saying how we had to go within a few days of getting back home from being in Oregon for the summer...
I have been pricing flights for a few hours and I just don't know if I can afford to go home. Apparently, I was just too busy to take the time to go see him while he was alive and I may just be to broke to see him one last time...
I don't have words to describe how much I hate myself right now...I love him so much and I couldn't bother to drag my ass over there after work or on a weekend to go see him, even after he asked. What kind of person does that?!?!?! I don't know what to do right now.
I am out of tears right now, everything is a blur. I just want to sleep and wake up from this bad dream.
I am so sorry for your loss and cannot imagine what you are going through right now. Remember that family and friends are your best support, maybe someone could lend you something to get home?
I hope you find some peace in all of this although i know the death of a loved one is always hard. He is in a better place now.
Try to keep your head up and remember we are ALL HERE FOR YOU!!
I am so sorry Amber....I wish there was something I could do to help you.
Please know that we care and are all here for you.
Don't punish yourself over this....we all do what we feel is best at the moment...It is hard not to look back and be upset with yourself, but remember...we are all human.
We never know when our loved ones will go. It's so hard when they do. Don't feel bad, don't hate yourself. The important thing is you loved him and he more than likely knew that by what you wrote.
I am sooo sorry for your loss =(
I hope this doesn't upset you, but my uncle said it to me when my grandfather died and it made me feel better so maybe it'll help you?
This is the way it's supposed to go, reaching an old age, having a family that loves you, being around those that care. We should all be so lucky to live long lives and know our great grand children and die surrounded by that kind of love.
Thank you all so much for your love and support!! I am flying out today at 3 for the service tomorrow and then will be flying back tomorrow night. Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers. I just can't wait for tomorrow to be over...once I let the emotions go...I am gonna be a mess.
Ladies I am having a hard time today...
I have been trying really hard to push this from my mind up until this point and I can't anymore.
Today would have been grandpa's 91st birthday. This is the first Christmas Eve that we haven't gotten together to celebrate the holiday AND his birthday since I was born. And all the feelings of guilt that I thought I had worked through are back with a vengenace. I would give anything to go back and see him one last time before we went to Oregon, to have more pictures of him and me or him and my son. I can't forgive myself for going...not yet. I thought I had, but it's still there. Granted, not as badly as right after...but it's definititly there. I miss him. And the realization that I am never going to see those giant belt buckles and 1980's bifocals or smell the peppermint tooth picks he always carried again hurts almost too much to bear. I don't want to be sad. It's Christmas and Ragan is getting old enough to understand...I am trying to so hard to hold this in until after he falls asleep. I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach...
oy, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I do not think though that your Grandpa would want to be looking down on you from heaven seeing you in such distress.
For your Grandpa... be happy he had the long life he did and that you have the beautiful memories that you do. Tell your children all about him and the christmas' and birthdays you spent together. You may cry when you tell the stories but explain that they are happy sad tears. You miss him tremendously but he was a special man and you want to tell them.
Cheer up hunny.
so sad
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