by Sandy Joyce

When people come to me with concerns about a child’s weight, my initial gut reaction is to say, “Relax, they’re kids!” And while that’s a fact, I’m also well aware that it is something to be concerned about, especially with the rise in obesity-related diseases as of late.

With that being said, I believe any good parent would be concerned. And, if you’ve struggled with your own weight at all, just  knowing that your child will face some of the same difficulties in life can be frustrating!

If you’re one of the many parents concerned with your child’s health or weight, this article will provide you with some guidance on raising happier, healthier children.

The Right Steps to Help Our Kids

Before we get into exactly how to deal with the issue, let me just say this: We all love our kids. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t care, right? So our efforts to make them healthier stem from love. And that’s always a good thing!

The reason I bring that up, is because I know from experience that most of us haven’t always done everything “right” when it comes to dealing with our children’s “sneaky” snacking, food selection, or lack of activity. Parents often express feelings of frustration, along with guilt over this.

Most of us will admit to “losing it” and yelling at our kids, punishing them, and maybe even stooping to name calling. Heck, I’ve been guilty of those very actions myself! Granted, my son doesn’t have a weight problem, but I do care about his health! And while those are obviously not the best ways to show that we care, at least we do care enough to react!

So let me assure you, we’ve all been there; those reactions stem from love, frustration, and ignorance — many of us just don’t know what to do. All we see, is where they may be headed if we as parents don’t get them on the right track. And none of us want that kind of life for our children!

Okay, enough about that. What can we do to help?

7 Tips of Action

These seven tips will make a huge difference in the life, health, and waistlines of your kids.

• 1. Relax!

For this first tip, I’m going with my initial “gut” feeling that I mentioned above. Let me explain.

If you make a big deal out of food, your kids will make a big deal out of food. If you freak because they’re eating a carbohydrate (oh my God, no!), then they’ll freak and be scared of carbs. Or scared of you. Ha!

You know what they say, when you’re raising a kid (or even training a dog!), you should encourage the good behavior, and somewhat ignore the bad.

First off, make sure good food is available (seems like a “duh” but you’d be surprised). Then, when your child makes a good choice, take notice and compliment them on it! If you do that, I assure you, they’ll make more good choices.

Unfortunately, most of us only seem to notice and respond to the bad choices. We yell at them, and let them know how disappointed we are every time they do something wrong. Please don’t do that; we don’t want our kids to have an unhealthy relationship with food!

Food is food. It doesn’t control us; we control it.

The second reason I say relax, is because if you get mad at them for eating, they’ll begin to sneak food. Sound familiar?

Come on, we’ve all dieted before; you know what happens. The second you tell yourself that you “can’t have” a brownie, what’s the one thing you crave? Sure enough, it’s a friggin’ brownie! Go figure.

Kids aren’t much different than you and I. Human nature is human nature. So if you don’t want your child to grow up with emotional ties to food, please take a deep breath. I assure you, there’s a better way!

• 2. Set an Example!

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

Actions speak louder than words. You should be what you want your kids to be. Now that’s a tough one to swallow, isn’t it?

We’ve all heard that parents who smoke have kids who smoke — that’s a fact. I can assure you that these smoking parents aren’t telling their kids that they should smoke! In fact, I would bet the opposite is true. But the kids see their parents do it, and unfortunately, that has a bigger impact on the children’s actions.

What you say will have a nil effect on your children’s behavior if your actions don’t match your words. So stop talking so much, and DO what you want your kids to do.

I’m a firm believer in being honest with your kids. If you mess up, tell them. Trust me, they like knowing that we’re not perfect! Nothing makes my son light up faster than when I tell him I’m sorry and that mom messed up. It also makes kids feel better knowing that they’re not the only ones who mess up, and that it’s okay.

Being an example for those little admiring eyes is not always easy, I know. But knowing they’re watching you so closely should help you stay on track, too. For example, if your son or daughter offers you some chips, you can say, “No thank you, honey. Those aren’t very healthy for you and mommy is trying to be healthier.”

Lead by example.

• 3. Teach Them!

You want to teach your kids, not scare them. Tell them why you don’t want them eating too much of this or that. No food is scary or off limits for them, just like it isn’t for you (or shouldn’t be).

My advice when verbally teaching your kids is to keep it simple. If you think in terms of “health,” it really is pretty simple, right? I mean, it’s either healthy or it’s not, and portions should always be controlled, no matter what the food is.

My rule of thumb here is, if they ask a question, answer it. If they don’t ask, don’t say much; keep it simple.

If they show an interest in health and being fit (your “lifestyle,” so to speak) then by all means, take advantage of that. Have a conversation! Teach them!

If they show little interest, or simply lack the maturity and ability to understand it all quite yet, then a short, to the point answer works best. Saying, “Only have a few chips honey, they’re not healthy for you” will suffice just fine.

Don’t worry, they’ll ask “why” sooner or later!

• 4. Focus on Health, not Weight!

I can’t stress this enough; I even tell my adult clients this. It really is all about health, not weight.

You have to realize (and teach your kids) that people come in all shapes, sizes, colors, speaking different languages, eating different foods, etc. It’s what makes the world so interesting and beautiful!

Being “skinny” doesn’t necessarily mean one is healthy, just like being a little on the chunky side doesn’t mean that one is unhealthy. Some of the most healthy, vibrant, high-energy, happy people I know are a little on the chubby side!

Genetics do play a role in the way we look, too; but we can and should all strive to be healthy.

So focus on their health, not their weight. If you don’t want them eating a certain food, your dialogue should always be focused on their health, not their weight.

• 5. Encourage Activity!

Notice I didn’t say “make them exercise;” I said, “encourage activity.” Big difference!

Yes, working out can be a chore for us, I understand that. If you put me on a bike, I’d call it exercise. If you put a kid on a bike, however, he’ll laugh and have fun. Weird creatures, aren’t they?

But seriously, just encourage movement. Don’t make them get up off the couch when they’re comfortable and tell them they have to exercise. They’ll begin to really dislike the word and develop a negative attitude toward a healthy lifestyle.

Get them involved in sports, outside activities, yard work, or have them walk the dog with you. Monitor their TV watching, computer activity, Play Station games, or whatever they’re into. There needs to be a balance.

And again, if you want your kids to be active, what’s the best thing you can do? Let them see you being active!

Kids naturally want to be like their parents. I guess that could be good or bad, right? (That was a joke. Sort of.)

• 6. Make Good Food Available!

When your child goes around the house looking for a snack, what’s there for her to find? Go look in your cabinets right now. How about your refrigerator? And the freezer? What’s on your kitchen counter, in the cookie jar, or the fruit basket?

You can’t keep junk in front of their faces and expect them to not want it, especially once they see it. Come on, they’re just like you and I! Don’t buy the junk, and make sure the food you’d like them to eat is readily available!

• 7. Be Consistent!

There has to be an effort on your part to be consistent, both in your own lives, and that of your children’s.

Don’t expect change overnight. If you have always struggled, cheated, emotionally ate, and been inconsistent with your workouts, don’t expect to implement these strategies and see your eight-year old change his eating, activity, and attitude toward health instantly.

It does take time, but the more you do it, the better and easier it gets.

Conclusion

Parenting is a huge responsibility, but at the same time, speaking for myself as a mother, I consider it a real honor to have so much control and impact on another human being. I take that responsibility very seriously.

I encourage parents to be as healthy, active, and happy as they can be. Strive to be what you want your kids to be. The best thing you could do for them, is simply being the very best version of yourself.

Don’t forget, they’re watching you!

About Sandy Joyce

Sandy Joyce is a personal trainer in the Boston area who specializes in helping women of all ages lose fat and get fit. She has over 10 years in the industry and has a reputation for not only getting women into great shape quickly, but helping them adopt lifelong healthy habits.

She is a certified Personal Trainer, Nutritionist, and is a terrific motivator.  She will work with you in a comfortable yet enthusiastic way in order to give you the knowledge and drive to make fitness a priority in your life.

You may get in touch with Sandy at BestBodyEva.com.