Now let’s roll the clock back to roughly 8 a.m. that morning and you’d see me literally jumping out of bed ready to go. The adrenaline rush that I had all day was amazing.  I spent the morning reapplying my tan, doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen and bathroom all the while walking around in my clear stripper shoes, so that I wasn’t road kill on stage that night.

I looked and felt amazing that day and all the text messages and Facebook postings of support from friends, family, and other figure competitors only added to my excitement and happiness.

I just kept thinking, “I DID it!”

Eight months of weight training with Frank were about to pay off, along with the last eight weeks of contest prep dieting. I started dieting on May 1st to get ready for July 9th. The first 4 weeks entailed 1160 cals, carbs 3 days a week and cardio for an hour a day. Spin class at 24 Hour Fitness became my new best friend. Teachers, if you haven’t used your health insurance to join, then get a move on and make it happen!

The last 4 weeks weren’t so easy to follow calories-wise. The first 2 weeks I was dropped to 1,000 cals a day and cardio twice a day. The last 2 weeks dropped to 800 cals and still cardio twice a day. This wasn’t so bad once the school year ended, but that last week of school was rough what with getting up at 5 a.m. to get round one of cardio in before going to work.

It should also be noted that I work part time at Dunkin’ Donuts over the summer — that was not an easy place to be during contest preparation and on the days that I worked there starting at 7 a.m.; I had to get up at 4 a.m. to get the first round of cardio done.  But I did it all with very little whining along the way. I’m sure Frank the Trainer would beg to differ, but he’s a great personal trainer and takes very little of my garbage, which we all know I can dish out by the bucket load.

I stepped on that stage on July 9th, 2010 at 106lbs and 13.8% body fat. I don’t qualify for Amazon status yet, like the girl in green, but I am working on it.

I’ve been weight training for roughly two years and I started taking it and myself seriously within the last year, and it has improved my self-esteem, my self-confidence and my body. I feel better mentally, physically and emotionally. The sense of personal accomplishment that I have right now is amazing. Being that this was only my 2nd show it wasn’t about competing with the other girls in my division, it was about competing with myself mentally and physically.

It was a battle everyday with the treadmill, the bike in spin class, the refrigerator, and grocery shopping properly, but the end of the day I won! Since I began training with Frank I have gained roughly 6lbs of muscle and drastically improved my diet, and now there is nowhere to go but up from here.

Huge gains within a year!

Back to the present it is now 10 a.m. July 11th, and I get a week off from training. No cardio, no weights, and no eating clean if I choose, and for the last 48 hours I’ve chosen to eat pretty poorly. As soon as I was done at the show my friends and I hit the Cheesecake Factory and I had a wonderful ice cream drink and fish and chips and took some cheesecake to go and Saturday night we hit Anthony’s Pizza and I had my standard pepperoni and black olive pizza and their amazing salad, and after dinner I had some peanut M&M’s and Sour Patch Kids for Desert.

No photos of the pizza night because I forgot the camera at home, but the rest have been documented for posterity. This has been an amazing journey and experience and there is nowhere to go but up from here and I am planning on two more shows in the fall just for the experience, then it becomes the off season and it’s time to lift heavy, lift hard and make some major gains in the muscle department.

There is nothing more empowering than stepping on that stage and knowing that you worked your butte off to get there.

Of course, if you ask Sandy the key to her success, she will provide a rather humble answer. To find out more, check out what Sandy had to say during our interview.

OliciousLife.com: Let’s start out by learning a little bit about you. Where were you born and where do you live now?

Sandy Weidmeyer: I was born in Tennessee, but currently I live in Wisconsin…land of the cheese heads!!

OL: Was your family health-conscious growing up? If so, how did this affect your views as an adult? If not, when did you decide to make changes?

SW: My family was never into health or fitness. As a matter of fact, I am a bit of a late bloomer. I got into fitness in my early 30′s when my good friend (who was, and is, very fit) jokingly said she couldn’t be friends with someone who didn’t go to the gym. I started small by taking her spin class and it blossomed from there.

I’m sure my late-bloom is because fitness was not a family priority growing up. I don’t think we were lazy by any means, we were your average American Family!

OL: What has been your greatest fitness/health accomplishment? How did you feel when reaching this goal?

SW: I am just proud that I made this change in my life. It is a lifesytle now, no turning back for me! But, I am also so very proud that this year I earned my NGA Figure Pro Card at the NGA Heart of America Competition! NGA Heart of America was the first competition that I competed in, so to go back and earn a pro card there means so me! I was smiling so big, I think it lit up the entire venue!!

OL: Were you active or an athlete as a child? If so, did this stick with you all the way through, or did you have a period when you were inactive? If not, when did you decide to start training?

SW: I was somewhat active as a child. I was never very athletic, though. I did play tennis and did some cheerleading. In my early adult years I was pretty sedentary. I was busy with school and working, and  trying to establish my career. It wasn’t until that good friend “twisted my arm” that I changed the direction I was taking!

OL: Is your family supportive of your goals? If so, in what ways? If not, how do you overcome this obstacle?

SW: I am so lucky that my family are my biggest supporters! My husband really encourages me. He and my kids love watching my competitions. The kids sit in the audience and yell for me. That is HUGE for me!

It relaxes me and put a big smile on my face. Without their support, I am sure I would not have ever stepped on stage. The first time I walked across the stage my husband was way more nervous than me! It was so cute!

OL: What has been the biggest challenge with your fitness and dieting goals? How do you stay focused?

SW: For me the hardest part is the building diet. I seem to have trouble eating as much as I should. I try to remember my end goal to stay focused! This time around I think I will be working with someone to help me keep that focus. For me, the cutting is so much eaiser!

OL: Where do you see yourself in the future of fitness?

SW: Oh man, I never even imagined a Pro Card, so I have surpassed where I thought I would be! It is just amazing. I hope to see my business Iron Diva Fitness, more on this later, grow. I am already starting to pick up a few ladies for sponsorships and I hope to continue to give back to female athletes! Other than that, I will keep walking across stage because that is what I love doing!

OL: What is your favorite clean eat?

SW: Oats mixed with natural peanut butter, chocolate whey, and a few Capella Drops! YUMMY!!

OL: Do you have an irresistible cheat? So unoriginal, but anything chocolate!!!!!

SW: Dip it in peanut butter and I am a happy girl!!!

OL: What is your favorite workout day? Why? Describe a typical training regimen in that day.

SW: I really like working shoulders. I still need to add a lot of size there, but my shoulders were always so small. These are big shoulders for my genetics!! I LOVE seeing definition in them! My training varies so much, but I always warm up my rotators. I have had an inflamed rotator cuff and I don’t need to be sitting out because I was careless with them!

I really like to hit rear and side delts first. That is where I need the most growth! I might even end rear again with some rope cable face pulls. Those are fun!

OL: What do you do for peri-workout nutrition?

SW: Scivation X-tend, baby!!!! YUMMY!

OL: Do you have any favorite supplements? If so, what are they and why do you take them?

SW: Ha! Can you tell I am a fan of Scivation X-tend? It really does taste great and gets the job done. I also like Optimum Nutrition Gold Standard Whey. I can’t get over the number of flavor choices! I need variety because I get bored pretty easily!

OL: What is the best compliment you have received since you started training?

SW: When my twin sister was looking at pictures and didn’t recognize me from behind! She was amazed at how I had transformed my body…mainly my butt!

OL: Do you have any websites, blogs, or event dates you would like to share or promote?

SW: YES! I own Iron Diva Fitness, where you can find functional and fun Brazilian fitness wear that I design! The colors are unique, as well as the designs. I also carry competition shoes, barbell jewelry, Brazilian swimwear, and cool logo casual pieces! We have the coolest burnout shirts! You really should check them out! Through Iron Diva Fitness I try to give back to female athletes. You can find information on our website and out Facebook page.

OL: Is there an event in your life that you can attribute to your success?

SW: There is not really a single event. It is a culmination of surrounding myself with supportive people and always giving it my all! You have to take chances in life in order to achieve!

OL: What is a quote that inspires you?

SW: Oh wow, there are so many! Someone once said to me one day when I was dragging, “Doing it (working out) when you don’t feel like it, is what seperates the champions!”

I don’t know if he knows how much that has pushed me through; even beyond that day! Perhaps I should tell him!

OL: Is there anything else you would like to share to help empower other women?

SW: Really, if I can do this, so can anyone else! You just have to WANT IT! It has to be more important than that cookie or pasta! It has to be something you want completely!

I’ve often observed that many people’s top-ranking fear is not death, but being in spotlight. The joke is that these people would rather lie in a casket at their own funeral than give the eulogy.

Whether you’re preparing to step on stage at your competition, perform a routine in front of an audience, deliver a speech at a big party or in a professional setting, being in the spotlight, for people who suffer from panic attacks or even just general anxiety, often becomes a major source of worry — possibly weeks or even months before the event is to occur.

The Root Cause

The fear of public speaking or presentation centers on having a panic attack during the presentation. The individuals fear being incapacitated by the anxiety and hence unable to complete what they’ve started. They imagine fleeing the spotlight, running off the stage after forgetting how to do a quarter turn, for instance.

This differs slightly from the public event presentation fear a non-anxious person may experience. With others, their fear tends to revolve around feeling somewhat uncomfortable under the spotlight. The jitters or nerves are, of course, a problem for this group as well — but they’re unfamiliar with that debilitating threat, the panic attack, because they most likely haven’t experienced one before.

If you, on the other hand, have experienced a panic disorder or are so anxious that you’re losing sleep at night, then the following tips should help you out.

Using Anxiety to Your Advantage

Stage 1 is accepting that all of these bizarre and, quite frankly, unnerving sensations aren’t going to go away overnight. In fact, you’re not even going to concern yourself with getting rid of them for your next event. When they arrive during your show or presentation, you’re going to approach them in a new manner.

We need to build your confidence back to where it used to be before any of these sensations ever occurred. This time, you’ll approach it in a unique, empowering manner, allowing you to feel your confidence again.

Some say that most of the top performers and speakers are riddled with anxiety before an event, but they somehow use this nervousness to enhance their presentation.

I’m going to show you exactly how to do this!

My first point is this, and it’s important:

The average healthy person can experience an extreme array of anxiety and very uncomfortable sensations while being the center of attention, but is in no danger of ever losing control — or even appearing slightly anxious to the audience. No matter how tough it gets, you’ll always finish your presentation-even if, at the outset, it feels very uncomfortable to go on.

You won’t become incapacitated in any way.

The real breakthrough happens when you fully believe that you’re not in danger and that the sensations will pass. By asking for more, you’re saying:

“I realize that you [the anxiety] hold no threat over me.”

What keeps a panic attack coming again and again is the fear of the fear itself; the fear that the next one will really knock your socks off, along with the feeling that you were lucky to have made it past the last one unscathed.

Because they were so unnerving and scary, it’s your confidence that’s been damaged by previous anxiety episodes. Once you fully understand that you’re not under any threat, then you can have a new response to the anxiety as it arises while you’re on stage.

The Turning Point

There’s always a turning point when a person moves from general anxiety into a panic attack, and when you imagine this happening on stage, you think to yourself:

I won’t be able to handle this in front of these people.

That split second of self-doubt leads to a rush of adrenaline, and the extreme anxiety arrives in a wavelike format. If, however, you feel the initial anxiety and react with confidence that this is not a threat to you, you’ll process the anxiety rapidly.

Using this new approach is a powerful ally because it means it’s okay to feel scared and anxious when speaking. That’s fine — you’ll feel it, and you’ll move with and through the sensations in your body and out the other side.

Because people are often very anxious before the talk has begun, they may feel they’ve already let themselves down. Now you can relax on that point. It’s perfectly natural to feel the anxiety.

Take, for example, the worst of the sensations you’ve ever experienced in this situation, be it general unease or loss of breath. You’ll have an initial automatic reaction that says:

“Danger: I’m going to have an episode of anxiety here, and I really can’t afford for that to happen.”

At this point, most people react to that idea and confirm that it must be true because of all the unusual feelings they’re experiencing. This is where your train of thought creates a cycle of anxiety that produces a negative impact on your overall presentation. This is when you’re running a high chance of stumbling in your heels.

So let that initial “Oh dear, not now” thought pass by, and immediately follow it up with the attitude of:

“There you are; I’ve been wondering when you would arrive. I’ve been expecting you to show up. By the way, I’m not in the least threatened by any of the strange sensations you’re creating. I’m completely safe here.”

Reverse Your Thought Process

Instead of pushing the emotional energy and excitement down into your stomach, you’re moving through it.

Your body is in a slightly excited state, exactly as it should be while performing or giving a speech — so release that energy in your self-expression. Push it out through your presentation, not down into your stomach.

Push it out by expressing yourself more forcefully. In this way, you turn the anxiety to your advantage by using it to deliver your performance; you’ll come across as more alive, energetic, and in the present moment. You’ll shine as you pose, speak, act, do a fitness routine… you’ll illuminate the stage with that inner energy.

When you notice the anxiety drop, as it does when you willingly move into it, fire off a quick thought when you get a momentary break (as I’m sure you have between pieces), and ask it for “more.” You want more of its intense feelings because you’re interested in them and absolutely not threatened by them.

It seems like a lot of things to be thinking about while also putting on a show, but it really isn’t. You’d be amazed at how many different, unrelated thoughts you can have while performing. This approach is about adopting a new attitude of confidence about what you might have deemed a serious threat up until now.

Embrace your fear and light up the stage. You’ll walk away to applause, and maybe even a trophy.

About Barry

Barry Joe McDonagh is the creator of the Panic Away Program. A native of Ireland, he first published the program back in 2001 after completing his undergraduate at UCD. Panic Away has since been sold in over 32 countries worldwide and has gone on to become one of the most successful courses for treating panic attacks and general anxiety today.

Sometimes, when we get wrapped up in our own doubts, fears, and insecurities, we end up convincing ourselves that we wish we were someone else. More often than not, we think and believe that someone — or, rather — most people are better than us in some way. The fact is, most people feel the same way we do!

Picture this…

You spot an amazingly beautiful girl sitting by herself at a bar, casually sipping on her drink. You think to yourself, “She looks so perfectly calm and confident. I wish I had her confidence. Well, maybe I would — if I had her looks!”

But if you could read thru her transparent mind, you would see a myriad of thoughts clouding her mind. You’d be amazed at what she’s thinking about herself!

“People must be talking about me, and why I’m here by myself. Guys aren’t approaching me. Why am I not attractive to them? It must because of my ankles, I have no calves and my legs look too skinny. Plus, even if they did come up to me, they’d think I’m not smart enough. I wish I were as intelligent as my sister!”

She's a cover model, but does she really have it all?

We look at a young business entrepreneur and say, “All that success and confidence, at such a young age. What more could one ask for?! Meanwhile, he stares at his own reflection in the mirror and murmurs to himself, “I hate my big ears! I wonder why my old friend won’t return my call, I must’ve offended him somehow. I hope my mom and dad work things out and get back together.”

Funny, isn’t it?

How are we to improve upon ourselves when we’re so busy analyzing what we wish we had, to actually work for it?

We look at other people, envy them for seeming so outrageously perfect, and wish we could trade places with them — all the while they look at us, and think the exact same thing!

We’re insecure around other people and feel poorly about our self worth, while they are insecure around us. We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, and lose hope in improving ourselves because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.

On the other hand, people often have an irritating habit — like biting finger nails, having a foul mouth, or leaving messes behind — and they themselves never seem to notice it.

I have a friend who never gets tired of talking, for instance. And in most conversations, she is the only one who seems to be interested in the things she has to say. So all of our other friends tend to avoid our company whenever she’s a part of it. Yet, she still doesn’t notice how badly she’s influencing the people in her environment with this habit of hers.

Maybe your habit is gossiping.

Of course, if you don’t know that there’s something wrong, you won’t know what to change about yourself to make improvements, and subsequently, improve your own self esteem and confidence. Much better than observing someone with envy in your eyes, isn’t it?

The Key

The trick  to self improvement is to talk to a trusted friend and actually listen to her response. Find someone with whom you feel completely comfortable, and ask her to tell you honestly how others perceive you. Ask specific questions — if you’re generally shy and soft-spoken, ask her if you come off as stand-offish, for instance.

Let her know that you’re interested in self improvement, then lend your ears for honest comments and constructive criticism. Remember, self-reflection comes from an honest perspective that can often only be provided by an outsider. Once you know exactly how others see you, you can be aware of your own self in whole. And once that occurs, you can not only begin to work on your imperfections, but also to discover your self love!

Love Yourself!

One of Whitney Houston’s songs states that “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” Truer words have never been said. In order to love others, you must love yourself, first.

Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.

Once you are truly, deeply comfortable within yourself and love who you are to the core, you will inspire others. Through self improvement, you will become a better person, and those around you will naturally follow. You’ll be an inspiration without ever trying!

Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate beings. Forget that debilitating, repetitive thought that goes something like… “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner… if only I was prettier… if only I was taller… if only I was shorter…” and so on.

Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement.

We need to stop comparing ourselves to others; we all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect.

We all wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, better circumstances, and so forth. But life doesn’t need to be perfect for people to be happy about themselves.

Self improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment.

When we begin to improve ourselves, we begin to love ourselves. And then, we begin to feel content and happy.

About Adam

Adam Khoo is an entrepreneur, a best-selling author of 10 books, including and a peak performance trainer.  A self-made millionaire by the age of 26, he owns and runs several businesses in education, training, event management and advertising, all with a combined annual turnover of $30 million.

In his latest project, Master Your Mind, Create Your Destiny, he reveals the steps he took to become hugely successful on a personal and professional level at such a young age.

REMEMBER

It is not the presents
that are most
important.
It is your

PRESENCE.

It is not for giving
it is forgiving.
Things that matter mostly…
are not ‘things.’

It is the most valuable
of all possessions,
and what I treasure

the most in my life.

TIME

It cannot be replaced.
It cannot be exchanged.
It cannot be measured.
It cannot be bought.

Use yours wisely;
living each minute
in the moments
you are given.

For when looking back,
it is

TIME
you will miss

the most.

SPENDING

LENDING

BORROWED

Use it wisely

Remembrance

My Gift To You

© 12/25/09

by Teri LaFaye

How do you talk to yourself?

Are your words kind and comforting or are they mean and angry?

How we see ourselves determines how others see us. How we talk to ourselves can affect everyone around us. I witness this every day in my silent observations of people around me.

Negativity can indeed spread just as easily as something positive. Have you ever been really happy and just bubbling over with energy, and then, someone comes along and starts saying “this hurts,” or “that hurts,” talking about how bad they feel? Going on and on about all the things that are wrong?

The more they talk, the worse you feel. Even when they walk away, it’s like someone has just come up and stolen your joy.

Outside negative energy is enough to ruin anyone's mood!

I truly believe that we create a lot of our own pain by “talking ourselves into feeling bad.” So, if one can make herself feel badly, then she can make herself feel better!

I have the students in my classes be very mindful of what comes out of their mouths, not only how they speak to others, but how they speak to themselves. People want to hear good things like “You’re doing a great job!” or “You look so beautiful today!” from other people, but when was the last time you’ve said those things to yourself?

We’ve all heard or said, “Damn, I knew better than that!” or “Man, I feel like shit!” Every one of these remarks is recorded in the brain. So, if you unleash these thoughts over and over — ones like “I’m stupid,” or “I’m fat” — you’re convincing yourself of that affirmation and its validity every time you say it!

Say something nice to yourself, after all, when you’re looking for someone to depend on, your best bet is in the mirror! And no matter what happened, you can pick yourself up and get back on the saddle without all those negative thoughts!

Live for the Joy of living!

I guess I’ve grown used to the fact that normal is something that doesn’t actually exist. Once you figure that out, you can stop trying to be what others want and live for the joy of living.

It’s with great heartache that people try to fit into the molds of others’ fashions. Who draws the lines between what’s real and make believe? Why do people continually try to be who they aren’t to impress someone who couldn’t care less?

When did people stop being “real?”

As for me, I don’t worry what others make of me. It is I who has to live up to my own expectations, no one else can do that for me. I will always believe that the best person to depend on is the one in the mirror. When all is said and done, it’s only that reflection that’ll cause the most anxiety or bring the most joy.

Who cares what others think? What matters most doesn’t even matter at all to most! Personally, I would not want to be anyone but myself.

Watch the movie Patch Adams. We should all be that daring, that persistent, that real. I cry everytime I watch it!

I hope I am that kind of person to someone. I pray I am that kind of person — one to scale the walls and break the barriers. I believe I am. And as long as I believe it, I will achieve it.

Don’t forget to check out my other inspirational thoughts!

I am overweight and have a poor self-image.
I am a stereotypical “yo-yo” dieter.
I struggle with the urge to use extreme, unhealthy measures to lose weight.

These statements no longer apply to me.

Through concentrated effort, I am finally free of an unhealthy attitude and lifestyle.

About four years ago, I made a commitment to get fit. The first year, I used only the elliptical machine at my local health club.

A trainer approached me one day, convincing me to incorporate strength training into my routine. I was nervous about lifting weights in the “guy’s area,” so the trainer allowed me to work with him for several weeks, alongside one of his clients.

Strong guys, heavy weights... an intimidating scene to any beginner!

Another year went by and I grew comfortable in my cardio and strength training regimen. In a gym environment, ”comfortable” equates to hitting a major plateau. I was losing motivation and becoming depressed that the weight was still not off.

That would soon change.

I saw a fellow gym member and remember thinking, “I just want to look like her,” as she strolled by one day. Fortunately, she was open to chatting about fitness and nutrition when we would pass each other in the locker room. She always had inspiring words and helpful tips to offer.

When this new acquaintance of mine was hired as a trainer and created “Girl’s Night Out,” a boot-camp style of class for women, I was extremely excited. After a couple of weeks, I told her that I’d affectionately nicknamed her class “House of Pain.”

The group of women who met twice weekly for the class became a family, connected not by blood, but by our sweat, our struggles, and our accomplishments. Our trainer gave us the most important lesson a trainer can give – the ability to train ourselves. When “Girl’s Night Out” ended, each woman had gained the knowledge to plan and execute a total-body work out.

United by sweat.

Most of my adult life has been spent as a size 14. There was a time when I truly thought, “This is the weight at which my body is comfortable.” All that changed as I found someone who pushed me to the limit and then pushed a little more.

Her instruction embodied more than just exercise. She demonstrated that a woman could be strong, yet feminine. She taught me how to maximize food for fuel, while still allowing myself to enjoy it. She encouraged me to simply eat healthily and not diet.

My life will never be the same.

This year I relocated to a different part of the city and changed gyms. As with anything one does for a long enough time, healthy living has become a habit for me. Instead of being afraid to continue training on my own, I have new pride in the fact that I am capable of creating a fitness and nutrition regimen for myself as my needs change.

I’m now down to a size 6 and actually wore a bathing suit in public (with no T-shirt covering it) for the first time this summer. Liberation!

Lighter, healthier, happier. New life, here I come!

The most rewarding aspect of it is that I did it the right way, without pills or harmful fad diets. I maintain my physique now with a structured fitness routine and nutrition plan. You will still see me eating the occasional cheat meal on the weekends… but what’s life without pizza?

Living Successfully

I believe people can fear ‘success’ as much as failure. The more we empower others, the more we evolve into the people we are meant to be.

There’s a quote by James Allen that reads, “You are today where your thoughts have brought you, and you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.”

To paraphrase, I am where I am because of how I think, in the past, present, and future tenses. We (as a people) are because we thought we were.

Wow!

It is truly incredible how we can use mind over matter. Perhaps I was born out of time, and should have been one of those transcendentalists back in the days of Emerson and Thoreau. However, I believe if everyone used the ability and insight they are given, their lives would emulate the results. Imagine the possibilities! How much more everyone could become by believing themselves to be.

I like to think I’m still evolving, by involving others. Go out on a limb. Dare to risk failure, to reap success!

Risk to reach! Reach to risk!

You hold the key to your own success!

How Do You See Yourself?

A friend of mine helped me remember a story I read in a book by Zig Ziglar, called, See You at the Top.

I’d love to share it with everyone as it’s a great story. If you’re one of my students, I may have told it to you before in class, but either way, please pass it on.

There’s a story of a little boy who was bothering his daddy. His daddy was trying to get things ready for an important business meeting the next day.

The dad saw a newspaper that had a picture of the world on it. So he got a pair of scissors and carefully cut the paper up in little pieces, and laid the pieces out on the floor.

He said, “Son, daddy needs to finish this work, so you sit here and put the world back together for Daddy.”

The little boy was excited at the new project! And the father thought…well, that’ll keep him busy for at least 30 minutes or so…

But to the father’s amazement, the little boy jumped up and said, “Daddy! Daddy, look! I fixed the world!”

The father was shocked, but sure enough, the little boy had carefully placed all the pieces of the world back together. He looked at his son and said, “How did you do this so fast, son?”

And the little boy, grinning said, “Well, I flipped the pieces over and there was a bigger picture of a man on the other side. When I got the man right, the world was right.”

It all begins with YOU!

Amazing what we can learn from a child.

When you get the man (yourself) right, the world will be right.

It all begins with YOU!

Are You Being Fed?

I’m reminded of another story I read years ago in a motivational book by Zig Ziglar.

In this story , there was a man who had a dream one night that he had gone to Hell.

There was a large banquet table filled with huge amounts of food. Every type of food you could think of from the sweets to the meats, it was all there, arranged in a glorious display.

Everyone was seated at the banquet table facing someone across on the other side of the table. In their hands, they all held huge spoons and forks, each spanning the height of a grown man. No matter how they tried to get the spoons and forks up to their mouths, they couldn’t.

Their faces held sad, sullen glances, and their bodies were weak and skinny. They were starving to death, wearing their skin over their frail frames like a heavy over coat.

Startled, the man awoke quickly, saying aloud, “That must have been hell.”

The next night, the man had another dream. But something was different.

Everything at the banquet table looked the same — food of every type piled lavishly high! A grander display had never been imagined!

This time, the people were laughing, smiling, and joyful. They were healthy and full from the foods of their choice. In their hands, they held the same size spoons and forks as those in hell, only this time …

This time, instead of trying to feed themselves, they were feeding the person across from them!

Waking quickly, the man sat up in bed, “That was heaven,” he said to himself.

Then he knew: The more you feed others…

The more you feed yourself.

So, are you being fed?

Yesterday was a bad day.

The moments I anticipate as a mother still come and pass with each year, but they are no longer days of celebration. Yesterday, my daughter Lauren would have been sixteen. But Lauren’s birthday isn’t a day to celebrate anymore.

An unexplained illness came over Lauren when she was in preschool. Within months of our noticing something wrong, she passed away at the tender age of four. Due to the rapid decline of her health from the onset of symptoms, doctors were unable to explain what had taken our little girl.

Sharon with her angels.

Days passed where I was literally unable to breathe. I knew I had to stay strong for Lauren’s older sister, Morgan. She was a brilliant child who loved to read, played regular games of chess, and laughed happily with her school friends in the first grade.

As we had seen with her sister before, Morgan began showing symptoms of the same unexplained disease. My daughter who played chess well at the age of five was severely mentally handicapped by the age of seven.  Unlike her sister, whose condition rapidly progressed, Morgan’s decline was slow.

We shared six beautiful years with our daughter. Doctors were able to determine the cause of Lauren and Morgan’s illness due to the length of time she blessed the earth. Morgan almost made it to her teens, but was stopped just short as she passed at the age of twelve.

There will be many hard months to come. December 14th marks the 5th anniversary of Morgan passing.  All those dates a mother looks forward to in happiness I often wish not to witness.

Sharon's beautiful girls.

Mitochondrial disease: that is what they tell us. Give it a name. Define it in medical terminology. Explain the genetics, the biology, and the scientific anomaly that has occurred, existing in its rarest and most daunting form. It does not matter, for it has stolen my children and I feel like I am no longer a mother.

Who am I?

How does anyone survive this?  Emotional asphyxia bares no kinship to what I felt within.   There is no definition for my loss. No word to duplicate the origin of my pain. For a while, I found myself just existing. It was all I could do.  I was still a mother and a wife, but I hardly felt worthy of living any sort of life.

I finally came to a point where I knew I had to make a change.  I found myself making the conscious decision not to let the loss of my children destroy me, but to drive me to be a different and better person.

That is when fitness found me.

Bettering myself through training made me feel worthy once again.  Being in the gym became an emotional vacation from grief.  It was my outlet for relieving stress and improving myself from the inside out. My body was responding physically, and emotionally I found myself healing.

After training hard for a time, I decided I needed a goal. Eventually, training no longer pacified my desire for betterment. I had to ascertain a deeper meaning in all of this work.

I just turned thirty-eight and the changes my body went through were less than desirable. My goal became to be in the best shape of my life at forty-years of age. What better way to do that than to train for my first figure show?

I learned, for me it was more about the journey than the end result.  I wanted to know if I had the drive, the dedication, and the self-discipline to stand up to the challenge.  Every time I began to falter, facing an unexpected plateau, I thought of my two little girls and all they went through.  Those were very tough times for me as well.  If I didn’t let the loss of my children beat me, then I knew I was stronger than any weights.  I knew I could do this — I just had to convince my body.

Preparing for my first show was incredibly hard work.  Days started with early morning cardio sessions, followed by working all day, and topping it off with another trip back to the gym for weight lifting and more cardio.  Then I had to add in the constant tweaking my diet to keep my body responding, and posing classes – all while trying to keep some semblance of normalcy in my home life.

The big day finally came!

My day finally came.

I stood on that stage knowing I had done my best. It had been quite a journey, and no matter the outcome, I was already a winner.  My husband was watching from the audience and my two angels guided me across that stage.

I took home a trophy that night — Second place in Jr. Masters– and I couldn’t have been happier.  My husband commented that he hadn’t seen a smile on my face that big in years.

Four months later I competed in my second figure show where I placed third in Jr. Masters.  Currently I am preparing for my third show in hopes of some day qualifying to compete on the NPC National stage.

I have learned many lessons through the loss of my daughters, as well as, my figure athlete journey.  I know I have inner strength to know that a tough gym workout will never beat me.  I know that I am capable of overcoming the sharpest emotional pain. Thus, a little bit of hunger isn’t going to get me down.

I know I am a winner no matter where the judges place me.

I am a mother. I am a wife. I am a survivor.