Regardless of any circumstance, and no matter how great of a conversationalist you consider yourself to be, don’t you always wonder what really goes through a guy’s mind when he acts a certain way? Wouldn’t you just love to know what prompts certain actions (you know, the ones that make you wanna strangle him at times)?

Well, now you can!

Olicious Life has gathered a panel of our very own resident everyday guys. We’ve got a team of single, engaged, and married men in their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s who are excitedly awaiting to respond to all of your burning “What’s he thinking?!” questions.

Please send in your questions to Submissions@OliciousLife.com. If you’d like to write to us anonymously, you may do so through here, AnonymousFeedback.com. If you’d like to chat with ladies, instead, stop by our relationship forum!

Editor’s note: OliciousLife.com or any of our authors or affiliates are not responsible for any action or non-action by the individual whose question appears below. Any information posted in this or any other article or post relating to this or any other question submitted to OliciousLife.com or any of its authors or affiliates are for entertainment purposes only. The below advice is not to be construed as legal advice, marriage counseling, or life coaching, and is not intended as such.

His Chats with a “Friend.”

My boyfriend of three years has a female friend who calls him daily. He speaks to her for hours on end! And the worst part is that she’s said many times to him, in text messages and emails, that she’s…

In Love with Him!

They used to live close by but he has since moved for a job, and they haven’t seen each other since he moved. He swears to me that they have been friends the entire time and were never anything more, but I have personally seen text messages where she tells him about how she feels about him, tells him she misses him, and can’t wait to see him.

I spoke to him about this and he said that he doesn’t care about her in “that way.” Then I told him that we should break it off because he talks to her so much, and he said that he doesn’t want that. And yet, he spends hours every night talking to this girl, without fail!

I want to stay with him. I don’t know how to approach this anymore.

Please Help!

Answer

I must say that I don’t like the situation you are in here, but I dislike the situation that you put him in, too. Ultimatums are almost always a bad idea. It would have been much better had you come to him and simply, calmly, discussed your feelings about these chats he is having.

Are you jealous? Then say so. Ask him how he would feel if you were to chat for hours daily with a male friend who he knew was in love with you. Ask him to close his eyes and really picture this scenario, see how this would make him feel. I don’t know any guy who would be comfortable in this situation. I know I wouldn’t!

I think this simple exercise would serve to wake him up from what he is doing here.

Decide What You Want

What exactly would you like for him to do? Discontinue speaking with her altogether, limit their conversations to once weekly… include you in some of the conversations, what?

You need to know exactly what would make you feel better before you even approach your boyfriend. Tell him exactly what would make you feel better, and he will be much more likely to respond when he sees solid steps he can take to make you feel better about this whole thing.

I’m sure that he in no way intends to hurt you. People love attention, we all like to be loved. If you were getting attention from a man who told you that he misses and loves you constantly, you would probably want to speak with him too, wouldn’t you? Of course this exceeds boundaries, primarily because it bothers you, but understand where he is coming from, too.

He Doesn’t Mean to Upset You!

You must understand this fact. I highly doubt there is anything at all going on here, as he doesn’t hide from you the fact that they speak at all. I would trust the fact that there is nothing going on here. However this isn’t the issue. The issue lies in how YOU feel about this whole thing.

Your boyfriend is wrong to continue the friendship after her expressions of love for him and your displeasure. He’s being unfair to you here, and he just needs to realize this. He is also being very unfair to her by very obviously leading her on, and while he may not want to upset her, as she is his “friend,” he still needs to put things in perspective here.

When to Beware

I can’t end this without putting in a word of warning:

If after you have a calm conversation with your boyfriend, he still resists discontinuing these conversations (or you find that he starts hiding them from you), then LEAVE HIM.

You deserve better than someone who is unwilling to do something so simple to satisfy your emotional needs. Beyond that, if he is unwilling, then something more is going on here, and it should be plenty obvious to you at that point.

Good luck. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that all goes well and this whole thing stays in the past as you two move forward.

Regardless of any circumstance, and no matter how great of a conversationalist you consider yourself to be, don’t you always wonder what really goes through a guy’s mind when he acts a certain way? Wouldn’t you just love to know what prompts certain actions (you know, the ones that make you wanna strangle him at times)?

Well, now you can!

Olicious Life has gathered a panel of our very own resident everyday guys. We’ve got a team of single, engaged, and married men in their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s who are excitedly awaiting to respond to all of your burning “What’s he thinking?!” questions.

Please send in your questions to Submissions@OliciousLife.com. If you’d like to write to us anonymously, you may do so through here, AnonymousFeedback.com. If you’d like to chat with ladies, instead, stop by our relationship forum!

Editor’s note: OliciousLife.com or any of our authors or affiliates are not responsible for any action or non-action by the individual whose question appears below. Any information posted in this or any other article or post relating to this or any other question submitted to OliciousLife.com or any of its authors or affiliates are for entertainment purposes only. The below advice is not to be construed as legal advice, marriage counseling, or life coaching, and is not intended as such.

We Hit It Off… Then, He Vanished!

I met a guy online 3 months ago and we started chatting but then totally hit it off. We even spent a few nights on the phone, ALL night long, waking up still holding our phones! Well, we finally decided to meet last weekend. He came to pick me up at 6, and this was the first time we met but everything seemed to be going so well!

We went out to a movie and he took the stub from me and wrote on the back “our first date,” then gave it back to me and told me to hold on to it as “history.” We talked a lot after the movie and went out to dinner, and had such a great time, we both spent lots of time chatting and clicked!

No Awkwardness!

Prior to even meeting we both said that if there was something we disliked or didn’t feel right about “us,” we would just say it. Well, we talked about it after we met, and both agreed than we wanted to pursue this relationship. When he walked me to the door he asked me if I want to go out the following night again and I said yes. Then after he left, he called me 10 minutes later to say goodnight, and we stayed on the phone for almost an hour chatting again!

Then he said, “I’m off to bed but will call you when I wake up tomorrow morning.”

He Still Hasn’t Called — 5 Days Later!

If he doesn’t want to continue seeing each other, why not tell me, and why would he keep leading me on the entire night? He’s ignoring my calls and emails, too. I don’t understand why he would make plans for the following day if he didn’t want to pursue anything. I am so confused! And this after he said he didn’t like games!

Answer

Well, the first thing you should understand is that when a guy tells you something, especially on the first date, you shouldn’t believe him. The idea of him “disliking games” would fall into this category. But besides that, this doesn’t really sound like a game. He’s just being himself.

He’s Being a Guy.

I’ll explain…

I don’t know any guy who likes offending or disappointing women. As terrible as this may seem, we’ll say just about anything to avoid this happening. This means that whatever he told you that first time you went out really doesn’t mean much to him — nor should it to you.

For the vast majority of us and just about any guy I know, the whole idea is to make that evening out as great and entertaining as possible. We will usually stop at nothing to make sure the girl has a wonderful time, even if deep down inside, we don’t have any intentions beyond this night.

No matter what we may think of you or the possibility of any relationship with you, we still want you to like us! We’ll say anything we deem necessary to make sure that you do end up liking us at the end of the night.

This is Not a Game!

This is instinct. This behavior ensures that we end up being the ones with the ball in our court. We don’t do this meaning to hurt you, or to play any games. We aren’t doing this for entertainment purposes. We’re simply securing our place in your mind as that of someone with whom you enjoy spending time.

Regardless of what this guy said to you, he went to bed that night not being 100% sure about what he wants and doesn’t want to develop with you. It’s very possible that he had other dates since then, too. And it’s very likely that all of the girls he has seen heard the exact same things he’s told you!

We can't help wanting to be liked by as many women as possible!

At this point, he is taking his time getting back to for one of any number of reasons. It could be that he’s already decided that he does not want to proceed with any kind of relationship with you, in which case he’s possibly hoping that you forget him and move on, as he doesn’t want to say this out loud.

It’s also possible that he just hasn’t made up his mind about you yet, and he’s taking his time doing this. Or maybe, he’s simply one of those procrastinators who hasn’t gotten around to calling you and keeps putting it off! And now that a few days have passed, he may be trying to think of a valid reason to give you.

Move On!

I don’t want to hurt you by saying this, but my best advice to you would be to move on. It has been long enough, and unless he’s deathly ill in the hospital, he’s moved on. And so should you!

Stop waiting; move on!

The good news is that there’s a lesson in all this: Take every word a guy says to you with a grain of salt, especially when it’s said on the first date.

Most of us don’t like “games” as much as you don’t, but we can’t help but be ourselves — be guys.

One last note: Next time, when a guy tells you he’ll call you, don’t call him. Even if he’s disappeared for a few days. Just move on!

Regardless of any circumstance, and no matter how great of a conversationalist you consider yourself to be, don’t you always wonder what really goes through a guy’s mind when he acts a certain way? Wouldn’t you just love to know what prompts certain actions (you know, the ones that make you wanna strangle him at times)?

Well, now you can!

Olicious Life has gathered a panel of our very own resident everyday guys. We’ve got a team of single, engaged, and married men in their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s who are excitedly awaiting to respond to all of your burning “What’s he thinking?!” questions.

Please send in your questions to Submissions@OliciousLife.com. If you’d like to write to us anonymously, you may do so through here, AnonymousFeedback.com. If you’d like to chat with ladies, instead, stop by our relationship forum!

Editor’s note: OliciousLife.com or any of our authors or affiliates are not responsible for any action or non-action by the individual whose question appears below. Any information posted in this or any other article or post relating to this or any other question submitted to OliciousLife.com or any of its authors or affiliates are for entertainment purposes only. The below advice is not to be construed as legal advice, marriage counseling, or life coaching, and is not intended as such.

Does He Love Me?

I met a guy about four years ago at work. We became friends, and about 3 years later, he asked me to hang out. During one of these “hang outs,” we kissed, and after that, we spent a lot of time hanging out together and talking through the night. At some points several months later, we finally had sex. After that happened, I told him that it was no reason for us to be awkward around each other at work. Now I believe that this may have made him believe that all I wanted from him is to be friends with benefits.

Fast Forward to Now

Recently, we’ve been spending much more time together, and are even hanging out with both of our kids (he got custody of his daughter about a month ago, and she’s always with us now). We’re constantly doing family things and always seem to be together, feels like an actual family! He takes care of my car, mows the lawn, it’s like I have a man around the house!

So I decided to ask him where exactly “we” are the other day. When I did, he basically just said that “we’re ‘us’” and left the room. I was visibly upset, but didn’t want to push the issue, so I just went to bed. Now in the morning, he gave me a kiss and a hug but still didn’t mention a thing! So now, my feelings are hurt because I feel that we can’t even discuss this issue.

What is he thinking?!

Does he think of me as a friend still or does he love me?

Answer

I can honestly say that this is another one of those over-analyzing scenarios some of us can’t help but participate in when we’re in a relationship. If I were you, I’d step back for a moment, calm down, and look at this from this guy’s perspective.

It’s very obvious that he is very much into you. If he wasn’t, believe me, he would not be mowing your lawn and taking care of mundane things around the house. He also wouldn’t be looking to spend all of his free time with you, as a family. He would have been going on dates or hanging out with his buds, instead.

Outside of mentioning that you have “kids,” you didn’t describe your own history, yet I’m willing to bet that the time directly after your breakup with your child’s father wasn’t an easy time for you. Something tells me you didn’t instantaneously have things figured out at that point. Did you?

Now put yourself in his position. He just got custody of his child, of course he’s in no rush to commit! He’s just gone through a rough time with another woman, he needs time to heal and move on, get his head on straight, and then come up with a better definition for “us” — one with which you’d be satisfied.

He's not taking care of your lawn for the fun of it!

Actions, Not Words

The guy’s showing you that he cares, and in my book, that should count for much more than any words he could say. Think of all the men who’d say just about anything to get girls in bed, or to gain their trust. Guys like that can always be figured out if you just pay attention to the way they act — and yours seems to be the opposite. That’s great news!

Men aren’t always great at having lengthy discussions about what we’re feeling. It just isn’t in us. But that kiss and hug he gave you this morning, along with all that mowing he does, those things scream that he does care for you. That’ll have to be enough, and in my opinion, it’s more than enough to calm your fears and put a smile on your face.

Give Him Time

He’s been through quite a bit lately, it’s obvious. I’d suggest enjoying his company, and letting him simply do the same with you. Take your time to really get to know each other as you spend time together, and he’ll eventually be done exploring what life with you may be like, and commit to you.

Until then, take solace in the fact that he’s smart enough to not jump into a new relationship pretending that he’s ready when he really isn’t. You’ve got a good, smart man, hold on to him and enjoy your life!

Regardless of any circumstance, and no matter how great of a conversationalist you consider yourself to be, don’t you always wonder what really goes through a guy’s mind when he acts a certain way? Wouldn’t you just love to know what prompts certain actions (you know, the ones that make you wanna strangle him at times)?

Well, now you can!

Olicious Life has gathered a panel of our very own resident everyday guys. We’ve got a team of single, engaged, and married men in their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s who are excitedly awaiting to respond to all of your burning “What’s he thinking?!” questions.

Please send in your questions to Submissions@OliciousLife.com. If you’d like to write to us anonymously, you may do so through here, AnonymousFeedback.com. If you’d like to chat with ladies, instead, stop by our relationship forum!

Editor’s note: OliciousLife.com or any of our authors or affiliates are not responsible for any action or non-action by the individual whose question appears below. Any information posted in this or any other article or post relating to this or any other question submitted to OliciousLife.com or any of its authors or affiliates are for entertainment purposes only. The below advice is not to be construed as legal advice, marriage counseling, or life coaching, and is not intended as such.

Can I Trust Him?

I’ve been with my fiance for almost two years. He’s had issues with gambling in the past before I knew him. He confessed to this himself, and I’ve been believing him when he says that he doesn’t gamble anymore — but now, I don’t know if I can believe him.

He is a great guy generally and he loves me, that’s obvious. The problem is… He lied to me! I found a letter from a credit card debt collecting agency that states that he owes over $5,000. I showed it to him, and he said it’s a debt from when he used to gamble. This is fine, but he should have told me about it when I asked him whether there was anything left over from his gambling days.

More Deceit

A couple of weeks back, I found out that he lied to me about another issue that I’d rather not discuss. When I asked why, he just said that he was afraid the truth would hurt me. But I’m much more hurt by the fact that he has lied to me! Now, I don’t feel like I can trust him at all.

I do love him, so that makes this complicated. I must add that he still lives at home (he is in his late 20s, as am I), has a son with his ex, and sends all of his money (he works full time) toward the child support.

His future doesn’t look bright unless he wises up, and I know that he is a good person whom I love, but I am just uncertain whether it makes sense for me to tie my life with someone who has so many money issues. And now there’s the whole trust thing!

How Do We Move On? Or Should *I* Be Moving On?

Answer

The first thing I’d like to point out, is that a person’s behavior with money can speak volumes about their personality. It isn’t about having a lot of money, but rather being able to be responsible with it. I know that as a guy, I wouldn’t want to marry a woman who spends thousands upon thousands of dollars on shoes each month, for instance (unless of course she was a millionaire and had that money to spend).

Point being, it goes back to being a responsible adult.

Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who hasn’t got enough common sense to sort out fundamental issues? This is life we’re talking about, you need to share it with someone who is serious when he needs to be — and money is no laughing matter!

The Bigger Issue

While this guy’s behavior with money tells me, personally, a lot about his personality, the fact that you said a few times that you do not trust him tells me even more. He has lied to you — and you caught him twice, which doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s only lied to you twice!

It’s possible that he’s got more to hide, and this is a suspicion that will follow you around for years upon years to come, unless you two go through serious counseling and he has proven his honesty to you. This is HARD to do!

I’ve no doubt that deep inside, he has a good heart and is a good guy. There are qualities in him that you fell in love with, and that’s great. But when you’re considering marriage, you need to consider the different areas of his life that will now become your life, as well.

The cornerstone of any relationship.

His Other Relationships

My recommendation would be to take a good look at his treatment of his parents, his siblings, close friends, and even his son. How does he act around them? Does he tell them “little white lies”? There may even be times when he asks you to conceal facts from his parents, if you’re close enough.

Many women don’t think about these things twice, but in your situation, you really need to open your eyes and analyze the way your man acts around his loved ones. Ask yourself whether or not you want to be treated that way for the rest of your life. If you do, then there may be something worth saving here.

Moving On

If you do decide to work at it and “move on,” the only way to do is through intensive counseling. You’ll have to learn to trust this man again, and the only way to do it, is if he comes clean about everything he’s hidden from you to date. I have a hunch there’s quite a bit to confess!

Additionally, even if you do trust him incessantly, he’ll have to learn to be a lot more responsible with money. I don’t know if he still gambles, but you’ll have to do some investigating to find out — I know I wouldn’t tie my life with a gambler, even if there was a slight possibility of that happening.

Once you’re absolutely sure he isn’t still gambling, I’d have a serious conversation with him (possibly with the help of a counselor) in regards to his relationship with money. He needs to be able to not only support his son, but also his potential family with you. At the moment, his parents are supporting him. Sounds to me like he is far from being able to pull his own weight — never mind that of a new family!

Do you really want to deal with this?

The final advice is to think long and hard, and consider everything carefully. You’re dealing with a liar with money problems and addiction issues.

Don’t be afraid to make the right decision, this is your life we’re talking about!

Regardless of any circumstance, and no matter how great of a conversationalist you consider yourself to be, don’t you always wonder what really goes through a guy’s mind when he acts a certain way? Wouldn’t you just love to know what prompts certain actions (you know, the ones that make you wanna strangle him at times)?

Well, now you can!

Olicious Life has gathered a panel of our very own resident everyday guys. We’ve got a team of single, engaged, and married men in their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s who are excitedly awaiting to respond to all of your burning “What’s he thinking?!” questions.

Please send in your questions to Submissions@OliciousLife.com. If you’d like to write to us anonymously, you may do so through here, AnonymousFeedback.com. If you’d like to chat with ladies, instead, stop by our relationship forum!

Editor’s note: OliciousLife.com or any of our authors or affiliates are not responsible for any action or non-action by the individual whose question appears below. Any information posted in this or any other article or post relating to this or any other question submitted to OliciousLife.com or any of its authors or affiliates are for entertainment purposes only. The below advice is not to be construed as legal advice, marriage counseling, or life coaching, and is not intended as such.

I’ve got a crush on my coworker… but he’s confusing me!

To top that off… I’m married!

My coworker is strong, silent, handsome, tall, and adventurous. We aren’t in the same work group, but our desks are still located pretty close. I keep thinking of him all day to the point of obsession and keep thinking up excuses to go and chat with him or to even walk past his desk. I often drop by to chat, and his replies are sometimes friendly, and other times luke-warm.

He never comes over to chat with me, even though we have lots in common (based on  and never makes any attempt to initiate conversation (except strictly work related). I know what you’re thinking, it’s obvious that he is not into me, right?

It’s not that simple.

There are these eye contacts we keep having anytime we’re in a room together or passing each other in hallways. They only last a few seconds, but each time our eyes lock, it feels like I can see right through him into his heart. And once in a while, he’ll even turn around and give me a second look.

A few times, we locked eyes for over 3 seconds, and I averted my eyes since I know he has a girlfriend and am trying to be respectful of that. I’ve also noticed that he always searches me out in a full room… but once he’s located me, it just ends there. He makes no attempt to come and speak with me even in a friendly way, just goes his own way.

So, does he like me back, or what? Things have been this way for about 5 months now, and I’d like to know the deal!

Answer

The first thing that jumps out at me, is the fact that you are married. You have no business flirting with men when you have a man at home. In all honesty, this guy’s behavior is honorable and refreshing, men aren’t usually this resistant to advances. He has a girlfriend and is obviously honoring his commitment to her by not trying to pick you up. He is probably also aware of the fact that you’re married, and he’s honoring your situation, as well.

I can see how someone would be curious or attracted to another person, being married doesn’t prevent you from seeing others around you. Just never forget that you’re no longer available, and neither is he. Sounds to me like you should really think about acting a little more professionally in a work environment.

Eye Contact, Explained

The eye contact between you two doesn’t mean as much as you believe it to. You see, men just look at women. This is what we do, naturally. We admire attractive women without being emotionally involved in any way.

Besides, we’re programmed to look back when looked at — especially men like the one you described, strong, silent Alpha-male types. Looking away is often perceived as a sign of weakness. And why would any guy look away when an attractive woman is staring him down, anyway?

Every word you’d written points to this guy finding you physically attractive — the way he may find many women he sees on a daily basis — in the most superficial of ways. He doesn’t appear to have any interest otherwise; he more than likely moves on with his thoughts the minute he passes you in the hallway.

There isn't always romance behind eye contact!

The Real Issue

Outside of all this, even if there was something more than the superficial here, what would you do about it? Would you act on your attraction?

If so, then you should be addressing issues with your husband rather than wondering about this guy’s feelings toward you. If not, then what difference would my answer to your question make, anyway?

I hope you see where I’m going with this: The real issue here is your marital situation. I strongly recommend taking a good look at your relationship with your husband. If you don’t feel those sparks anymore, do your best to start them back up. You can start by just having a talk with him.

Unless these real issues are addressed, you’re just too likely to get yourself, your relationship, and possibly even your job into trouble.

No matter what you decide to do, start by discontinuing parading by your coworker’s desk. He’s shown you a whole lot of respect, and it’s only fair that you start doing likewise.

I'd suggest letting go of that tie.

Regardless of any circumstance, and no matter how great of a conversationalist you consider yourself to be, don’t you always wonder what really goes through a guy’s mind when he acts a certain way? Wouldn’t you just love to know what prompts certain actions (you know, the ones that make you wanna strangle him at times)?

Well, now you can!

Olicious Life has gathered a panel of our very own resident everyday guys. We’ve got a team of single, engaged, and married men in their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s who are excitedly awaiting to respond to all of your burning “What’s he thinking?!” questions.

Please send in your questions to Submissions@OliciousLife.com. If you’d like to write to us anonymously, you may do so through here, AnonymousFeedback.com. If you’d like to chat with ladies, instead, stop by our relationship forum!

Editor’s note: OliciousLife.com or any of our authors or affiliates are not responsible for any action or non-action by the individual whose question appears below. Any information posted in this or any other article or post relating to this or any other question submitted to OliciousLife.com or any of its authors or affiliates are for entertainment purposes only. The below advice is not to be construed as legal advice, marriage counseling, or life coaching, and is not intended as such.

I’m Afraid to Fall in Love

Yes, I realize how strange that sounds, but it’s the truth. You see, anytime I’m with someone for a while and begin to feel like I’m falling for him — anytime I feel like I can see a future with a guy, just when we both start to talk about staying together forever and when it seems like we were created for each other, he breaks up with me, out of the blue!

It’s happened a couple of times before, once when I was only 20, the second time when I was 24. Both were long-term relationships that lasted for over a year each time, and in both scenarios, these guys came out of nowhere with “I don’t think I love you anymore,” and leaving me.

Help Save My Current Relationship

Right now, I’m seeing a truly great guy. I love everything about him and really think it has great potential to work in the long term. However I am very afraid of admitting this to myself because of my past issues with guys. I feel like the minute I say to myself that I’m falling in love and that we’re meant to be together, he’ll wait just long enough for me to get used to him, then leave me like the others have!

I don’t know what to do at this point to feel otherwise. Any ideas?

Is it really forever?

Answer

I’m sorry you’d been going through such trouble in your former relationships. Two long term relationships coming to an end in such a manner can’t be an easy thing for anyone to handle, not even a strong woman who’s usually independent and brave.

When it comes to matters of the heart, I think most of us are nervous. None of us adults who’ve been in other relationships are willing to just “give our hearts away” in an instant, without a tiny bit of trepidation. Men, or women, doesn’t matter much; none us of want to get hurt! So, take comfort in the fact that you are not alone!

Because you have gone through such horrid experience twice, you’ll automatically want to shield your heart and feelings more so than the average person will. It’s only natural!

But you know what? All it takes is time! Time heals all wounds, and if this guy you’re seeing right now is truly a nice guy that’s deserving of your heart, he’ll want to give you the time you need! Express your concerns to him so that he understands how you’re feeling and doesn’t assume that it’s his fault, reassure him that all you need is just some time, and watch his reaction. I bet he’ll be more than understanding — and if he isn’t, he’s just not worth your time to begin with!

A Word of Warning

White I know you’ll come around to feeling “normal,” and happy, and in love again, I feel obligated to give you a warning of sorts. You do realize that EVERY relationship could end tomorrow, right?

No matter how happy you are in your relationship, no matter how in love — things happen that may end it in no time flat. One partner could fall out of love (it could even be you, we’re all human!), a partner could fall in love with someone else, some sort of an accident may happen… death… there are just endless things that could go wrong to end any relationship, despite its blissful state at the time of the occurrence.

This in no way means that it isn’t good for as long as it does last, does it?

I guess I’m trying to say, is that love’s a risk. And it’s one that’s usually worth taking. Everything worthwhile is usually a gamble in one way or another, isn’t it?

Look at life, for instance. Anything could happen at any moment, I could die tomorrow for all I know. And yet, it isn’t stopping me from making plans, or enjoying this watermelon I happen to be eating. I do my best to live each day to its fullest, just so I can go to sleep with no regrets — and if I don’t wake up tomorrow, that’s okay — I will have enjoyed life the best I could while I was still here.

Follow my analogy?

Enjoy your relationship, while you still have it! Protect yourself the best you can, but once that urge to love is there, and you have a good guy to love you back, don’t hold back — give it your all. Love with no regrets.

Regardless of any circumstance, and no matter how great of a conversationalist you consider yourself to be, don’t you always wonder what really goes through a guy’s mind when he acts a certain way? Wouldn’t you just love to know what prompts certain actions (you know, the ones that make you wanna strangle him at times)?

Well, now you can!

Olicious Life has gathered a panel of our very own resident everyday guys. We’ve got a team of single, engaged, and married men in their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s who are excitedly awaiting to respond to all of your burning “What’s he thinking?!” questions.

Please send in your questions to Submissions@OliciousLife.com. If you’d like to write to us anonymously, you may do so through here, AnonymousFeedback.com. If you’d like to chat with ladies, instead, stop by our relationship forum!

Editor’s note: OliciousLife.com or any of our authors or affiliates are not responsible for any action or non-action by the individual whose question appears below. Any information posted in this or any other article or post relating to this or any other question submitted to OliciousLife.com or any of its authors or affiliates are for entertainment purposes only. The below advice is not to be construed as legal advice, marriage counseling, or life coaching, and is not intended as such.

How Do I Keep Him Happy?

This is not just for my benefit, but I was thinking it would help everyone here if we could hear directly from the source how to keep our relationships fresh. I realize this is a job for both the man and the woman in a relationship, but I always try to figure out what I can do to keep my long-term boyfriend happy.

Most of those “Ten Ways to Keep Your Relationship Fresh” lists are written by women, and it would be nice to hear directly from the source — you guys. So, what do you have to say on the topic?

Any Tips on Keeping a Relationship Fresh?

Answer

You’re in love. That heady feeling, butterflies, blushing; the works! The phenomenon of love has left people spellbound since time immemorial. Poets, authors, and even cynics have been enchanted by the miracle of love! And now, you finally get to see what the big deal is about.

All the formerly eye-roll worthy ‘mush’ doesn’t seem so frivolous anymore. Hook, line, sinker! You really are in love.

However, a legendary love story, beginning with star-crossed lovers and clandestine kisses, also had the potential to become a legendary tragedy. If you don’t want to suffer such fate, it’s always a good idea to take a proactive approach by keeping your relationship fresh!

I think it’s especially important to put effort into sustaining your relationship than into beginning it. More often than not, after the initial rush butterflies and giddying hormones, there comes a slack. It’s when your cozy bubble for two bursts that your relationship begins to lose charm. But don’t despair, all is not lost! With a few simple actions, you can get it back on track.

It's effortless when new, but takes work as time goes on.

The Key to a Happy Relationship

It’s all about putting in the effort. To know that person, stand by him through highs and lows, and just to be there for him regardless of anything — that’s what all enduring relationships have in common, the two people maintaining unconditional love for one another.

It’s important to really hear your partner, and to be patient. Everyone wants to be heard without any judgment; if you can be that person to your loved one, that alone will go a long way. Regardless of what your guy may say, it’s important to us to know that you love and appreciate us for who we are. Just that feeling of support and unconditional love will go a long way in making your guy realize just how lucky he is to have you.

As time goes on, don’t forget to remind him how important he is in your life. Tiny gestures like a hug, an unexpected kiss, his favorite dinner when he doesn’t expect it — actions like these go a long way in letting us know how you feel, more so than do words.

Sometimes a hug is all it takes.

No matter how “macho” your man may be, he will always melt with a hug or a kiss from his lady. Always remember to take a moment just to express your love — you’d be amazed at how far these tiny gestures can go to keep the romance alive.

Respect

Now that your man is a mainstay in your life, it’s important that you realize that you don’t “own” him. “Having” him doesn’t give you authority over his life. Treat him with respect and acknowledge the fact that he’s still his own person — one who chooses to share his life with you.

Respect him for his decision; remember that he doesn’t “owe” you anything; everything he does, is done because he cares. That mindset alone will go a long way in helping the relationship stay fresh!

Constantly comparing your guy to the latest heartthrob can also be demeaning, yet that’s often done completely mindlessly by so many women I know these days! I believe that’s somewhat disrespectful. Sure, he may be “hot,” but so is Megan Fox — would you want me to keep telling you how incredibly sexy she is every time she’s in a commercial or on the cover of some magazine?

Remember, a bit of respect goes a long way!

Sure, he's a good looking guy; but must we discuss it?

It’s also extremely important that you don’t become a slacker in the grooming department now that you got your guy! Just because you’ve been together for a while, doesn’t mean you should stop paying attention to how your hair looks, never wear any makeup, or take care to smell as good as you used to when you first started dating. Keep him on his toes by always looking a little different — he’ll never forget what attracted him to you in the first place that way!

Take Nothing for Granted

Make time for each other! Do your best to keep a “date night,” no matter how many years it’s been since you first met. Enjoying a romantic getaway can be fantastic, but even a stereotypical movie date can be fun — just put some effort into making him feel special and wanted. That’s all any guy really wants!

If you’ve had your share of heartbreaks or unrequited love, you’ll know love can be the pits. But now that you’ve crawled out of it, don’t let it go. Just follow these tips and live happily ever after!

Regardless of any circumstance, and no matter how great of a conversationalist you consider yourself to be, don’t you always wonder what really goes through a guy’s mind when he acts a certain way? Wouldn’t you just love to know what prompts certain actions (you know, the ones that make you wanna strangle him at times)?

Well, now you can!

Olicious Life has gathered a panel of our very own resident everyday guys. We’ve got a team of single, engaged, and married men in their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s who are excitedly awaiting to respond to all of your burning “What’s he thinking?!” questions.

Please send in your questions to Submissions@OliciousLife.com. If you’d like to write to us anonymously, you may do so through here, AnonymousFeedback.com. If you’d like to chat with ladies, instead, stop by our relationship forum!

Editor’s note: OliciousLife.com or any of our authors or affiliates are not responsible for any action or non-action by the individual whose question appears below. Any information posted in this or any other article or post relating to this or any other question submitted to OliciousLife.com or any of its authors or affiliates are for entertainment purposes only. The below advice is not to be construed as legal advice, marriage counseling, or life coaching, and is not intended as such.

How do I make men fall madly in love with me?

I know that my question probably sounds funny, so let me explain: An acquaintance of mine knows how to makes men fall madly in love with her. At the moment, there are three men who are in love with her to the point where they’re all at her beck and call.

She has been seeing all of them for a few months, and they keep her on the phone for long hours call her all the time and shower her with gifts. She’s in her early thirty’s, so it’s not that she’s some cute teenager and the guys are love sick puppies — these are all established people.

My question isn’t about her specifically; I’m just using her as an example. I know of a few women who, like her, seem to have all the guys fall for them instantly and walk through life breaking hearts left and right. I can’t understand what they do to have this kind of influince on these men!

Maybe you, as men, can give some insight on how to make a man fall in such crazy love with you?

What tricks or secrets am I missing? Please share!

Answer

To be honest with you, just the idea that you’re looking for some “magic” tricks or secrets to “break hearts” is a turn off. Something tells me the girls you’re using as examples don’t think in these terms at all! In fact, I’m willing to bet that they don’t put much thought into the process of “making men fall in love” with them — it just happens because of the way they behave around these men.

Sure, I’ll always notice a hot girl, but it’s the girl with a fun personality and an unmistakable air of confidence that’ll make me not only do a double take, but also want to get to know the girl and spend some time with her. Women who don’t take themselves too seriously, who don’t try hard, with whom I have fun regardless of our surroundings. Playful, fun, exciting women who are not only a pleasure to look at, but are genuinely a pleasure to be around.

The Average Woman

Most women I personally have come across end up being unattractive in some way and pushing men away, often unknowingly. This usually has more to do with personality nuances than appearances.

Things like clinginess, lack of interesting conversation; women who are uptight, overly dramatic, jealous, controlling, have closed minds, need constant reassurance, and (possibly above all) lack self confidence, are bound to make me wonder what attracted me to them in the first place.

Seeing this across the table doesn't do much for me.

If I ever run into a woman who isn’t only physically attractive, but also always seems to have a smile on her face, and is the opposite of all those things I mentioned above, I’ll want to do everything I can to spend time with her — just to see what it is that makes her so confident and happy, if nothing else. I’ll want to be a part of her life, as that life seems like such fun! It’s only natural, if you ask me.

To top it off, the sheer fact that the woman doesn’t need me to be so happy with her life just makes me want to be a part of it even more!

The Chase

The fact that she doesn’t need me to reassure her in any way as she’s plenty confident as is, the fact that she already has all these other admirers because of her personality, that she’s not sitting there and thinking up magic potions, but enjoying her life and doesn’t need a man to be happy — that would make me want to beat out all those other men who may want her attention.

Men can’t help it, we have a natural instinct to want the female that’s wanted by others. Naturally, the woman who’s unlike the average, insecure, uptight, clingy, jealous girl with a frown on her face will always be coveted by most men. We will always wonder what it would be like to make a part of what makes her that happy.

She’ll always seem like a whole lot of fun to be with, and who wouldn’t want that — especially when there’s a “chase” involved!

Age is Just a Number

As you yourself mentioned, age has nothing to do with it. A hot girl is a hot girl, whether she’s 18 or 40.

I’ll take a fun, easy going, confident, intelligent, open minded 40 year old who takes care of herself and has a complete, full life, over an insecure, uptight, jealous, unhealthy 18 year old who doesn’t take care of her mind or body, any day!

Like I said, it’s about personality. No tricks or secrets here, just common sense.

The smile and the personality will do it every time!

Ever notice that the minute you stop wanting to be in a relationship is when you seem to get asked out the most? I know my female friends always mention this, and this phenomenon occurs for one reason only — we sense that confidence that comes with your “screw dating, I’m happy being single” attitude.

You relax, stop trying so hard, and become instantly exponentially more attractive to us!

The girls you are speaking of just carry this attitude all the time. They are confident, and that’s the bottom line.

My best advice to you, would be to stop thinking so hard and trying. Just have fun, you only get one life! Take care of YOU, enjoy yourself, make your life as complete as possible, forget trying to make anyone fall in love with you. The minute this happens, you just may find yourself with more admirers than you can handle!

Regardless of any circumstance, and no matter how great of a conversationalist you consider yourself to be, don’t you always wonder what really goes through a guy’s mind when he acts a certain way? Wouldn’t you just love to know what prompts certain actions (you know, the ones that make you wanna strangle him at times)?

Well, now you can!

Olicious Life has gathered a panel of our very own resident everyday guys. We’ve got a team of single, engaged, and married men in their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s who are excitedly awaiting to respond to all of your burning “What’s he thinking?!” questions.

Please send in your questions to Submissions@OliciousLife.com. If you’d like to write to us anonymously, you may do so through here, AnonymousFeedback.com. If you’d like to chat with ladies, instead, stop by our relationship forum!

Editor’s note: OliciousLife.com or any of our authors or affiliates are not responsible for any action or non-action by the individual whose question appears below. Any information posted in this or any other article or post relating to this or any other question submitted to OliciousLife.com or any of its authors or affiliates are for entertainment purposes only. The below advice is not to be construed as legal advice, marriage counseling, or life coaching, and is not intended as such.

I have herpes and didn’t tell my boyfriend. What do I do now?

I have a feeling I’ll be judged for this, so before I say anything, I want to clarify that I do feel bad about it — but I do need a few words of advice.

I have herpes and have never told my boyfriend of 4 months about it. I don’t have sex with him if I have an outbreak, I usually just make excuses, like saying that I don’t feel good or I’m in a bad mood. I thought I can avoid telling him for now, but there is a problem.

We had sex Sunday night, and I went to the bathroom afterward and noticed that I had one small blister. So now, I’m terrified that he got it and will know that I had it all along.

Help me save the relationship!

Should I lie to him if he gets it and say that even if I have it I didn’t know? I don’t want this relationship to end like this because I care for him and it has been so great! Besides, I know I’m not the only one in my situation. My best friend has genital warts and she told her boyfriend about it as soon as they met. In return, he told her he has herpes. Now, they’re careful about when they have intercourse and time it around the outbreaks.

They have been together for two years now and are planning marriage. Because everything is fine with them, I thought I could have that too. I was just putting off telling my boyfriend about it because I wanted to find the perfect time to say it and make sure he understands.

Do you think he’ll end the relationship if he finds out that I knew and didn’t tell him? Is there any way he won’t?

I know he cares for me and is very attracted to me. Please, please help…I’m going crazy over this. I deserve a happy long term relationship like anyone else!

Answer

Not to beat around the bush here, but that’s just plain wrong. A friend of mine was in the same situation. He slept with a girl who had HPV but never told him. A while after they broke up, she called him and told him she had genital warts. However, by that time, he was already dating and sleeping with other girls, when all of a sudden he had a breakout of his own – probably infecting those other girls as well. All because his ex never told him anything.

No wonder all these diseases spread like wild fire. Nobody tells anybody until it’s too late. Even condoms don’t help in all instances and aren’t 100% effective.

How can you build a long lasting, loving relationship with all this deceit? How can he ever trust you again? Makes no sense to me. Why wouldn’t you tell him before you had sex? If he stayed at that point, then you would’ve known that it’s meant to be. If not, you would’ve just moved on!

You should have said something. I’m sure you wouldn’t appreciate it if it were the other way around, where he had something and you got it without knowing. Imagine how that would feel.

This conversation should have happened four months ago!

You have to be honest right now.

Stop whatever you’re doing and tell him immediately! You can’t live life with the guilt and this constantly on your mind. You must be around him and always thinking about this and it’s probably eating you inside. Get it out in the open and off your chest.

You will feel much better as a result, even if he does leave. I can’t say I’d blame him for that, either. You lied to him in a round about way by not saying anything. You can’t and shouldn’t be in any relationship filled with lies. It’s not good for anyone.

If you’re just afraid that you won’t be able to have sex with anyone because of your condition, don’t be! There are lots of places where you can go to find guys who have the same condition you do. There are online places and craigslist personal ads filled with these personals.

If you find it this difficult to come clean with your significant other, it makes sense to just do a search and find someone where you wouldn’t have to worry about this at all.

Bottom line is, you lied by not telling him, and this might affect him for the rest of his life. Even though you say you “deserve a happy long term relationship,” I don’t think you are ready at this point, because if you were, you would have treated this situation in a more serious manner.

Take time to get comfortable with yourself, first!

Take a good look at your own reality.

Admit to yourself that you have this condition, and take responsibility for it by not letting it spread to other people. It’s not fair to the rest of the world, it’s not fair to that person, and most importantly, it’s not fair to yourself. Realize that you’re lying to yourself, as well.

Seek medical advice and counseling to help treat your STD. Do research on your own about being in relationships with this disease. There are tons of great information available right at your fingertips online. You need to figure this out so it doesn’t happen again in future relationships.

No way around it, you have to tell your boyfriend today. Don’t wait, don’t stall, just tell him. Get it done and over with. Then move on and concentrate on finding that “happy long term relationship” not filled with lying. Talk to a doctor or a counselor if you need some help. I know you can do it.

Regardless of any circumstance, and no matter how great of a conversationalist you consider yourself to be, don’t you always wonder what really goes through a guy’s mind when he acts a certain way? Wouldn’t you just love to know what prompts certain actions (you know, the ones that make you wanna strangle him at times)?

Well, now you can!

Olicious Life has gathered a panel of our very own resident everyday guys. We’ve got a team of single, engaged, and married men in their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s who are excitedly awaiting to respond to all of your burning “What’s he thinking?!” questions.

Please send in your questions to Submissions@OliciousLife.com. If you’d like to write to us anonymously, you may do so through here, AnonymousFeedback.com. Life If you’d like to chat with ladies, instead, stop by our relationship forum!

Editor’s note: OliciousLife.com or any of our authors or affiliates are not responsible for any action or non-action by the individual whose question appears below. Any information posted in this or any other article or post relating to this or any other question submitted to OliciousLife.com or any of its authors or affiliates are for entertainment purposes only. The below advice is not to be construed as legal advice, marriage counseling, or life coaching, and is not intended as such.

I’m Proposing to My Boyfriend!

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now, and I’m ready to propose. I know that this isn’t a common thing to do, but we are supposed to be liberated and equal to men, so if I’m ready to marry, why should I wait, right?

This is how I see it but I don’t want to scare him off because I do love him very much. I know he loves me too, so I assume he will say yes, but of course there are no guarantees, so I am nervous.

I do want your feedback on not only a woman proposing to her man but also on how I can be unique.

Just how do you think I should do this?

I want to give him my dad’s ring, but do I get on one knee? All online proposing tips are for men and I’m having a hard time coming up with a memorable way that will make my proposition irresistible to him.

Answer

That’s fantastic, I’m very happy for you! It’s great to hear that you’re so in love, that you’re willing to propose to him. It’s great that you are in a caring, loving relationship and are ready for marriage. There aren’t too many happy endings these days, and I sincerely wish you the best of luck.

This also shows that you’re an independent woman, strong willed, know what you want, and aren’t afraid to go after it. You seem like a great catch. He’s a lucky guy!

I do agree with you on the fact that in today’s society, women are equal to men and should feel liberated and free to do whatever they want.

It’s been a long time since women did nothing but stay home, cook, clean, do the dishes, and take care of the kids. Being a “Mr. mom” is very common these days, and most guys would agree that an independent, strong woman is great to have as a partner in life. To be able to work together as equals and partners in the relationship should make for a long-lasting marriage — whether that means you work as a housewife, or are out working all day 9 to 5.

The days of the 50s housewife are long gone!

Most women us guys come across, unfortunately are ones who only want our money, want to go shopping and hang out with the girls while paying someone else to cook, clean, and take care of the kids; its truly a shame for quality family life.

The Heart of the Matter

You have been dating this guy for a year, and you’re confident in the fact that this is the right time? For how long have you known him?
I’m a believer that it takes more than a year to decide if you should marry a person, but that’s just a personal belief. I think for the first couple of years, most people are still “putting the good foot forward.”

You haven’t seen all the other person’s faults and habits that may drive you insane. It’s not the good parts that drive people apart, it’s the little OCD-type things that people pick apart, get annoyed by, and can’t stand. It’s the person’s habits and faults that you have to worry about, and those will not come out on display during the first year.

Just something to think about. Either way, as long as you’re sure that you are ready, I’m happy.

Good Ways to Propose?

There are tons! Do you have a favorite restaurant? Maybe a place where you met for the first time?

Proposing shouldn’t feel forced, and it should come from within your heart. If you feel it’s right to do it a certain way, then by all means, do so. So many people get married every day; I doubt that whichever way you pick hasn’t already been done by somebody.

It’s more about both of you remembering your special day. I know I’ll always remember the day I proposed to my wife. I was more nervous than I’d ever been in my whole life, and couldn’t stop shaking the entire night when we went out to dinner.

I’m sure she knew something was up. I just asked her right after dinner, when I was walking her to the car.

A special moment is special on its own. No extra effort necessary!

It was at the restaurant where we went on our first date. The place wasn’t anything special, but the moment was. I played our song in the car after we got in, and we sat there holding each other, looking deeply into each other’s eyes. I was still shaking.

We were madly in love and still are, to this day. I know I’ll remember that day forever. I still think of it like it was yesterday and remember all the little details.

Again, it wasn’t the place that made it special, it was the connection we shared and the feelings we felt. If it’s not meant to be, then proposing while riding camels in the Sahara desert, drinking a $25k bottle of champagne, eating caviar fed to you by a top French Chef, being led to the latest wild elephant watering hole by Kiriku the desert guide — ain’t going to help.

I mean, you can try and be original. But while trying to be original, you may end up being a cliché. It’s hard to plan something original and have it turn out right. I know I would rather keep it simple, sincere and to the heart; save the roller coaster, helicopter rides, or white water rafting trips for your first anniversary. You can also do a search online if you must pick something crazy. I just don’t think it’s the way to go.

Honest Male Perspective

Here’s my deal: It’s great that you want to propose to him, and I can appreciate that. However, in all honesty, being a guy, I would hate that.

I want to feel like the man in the relationship, and however old-fashioned it may seem, I want to be the one proposing. I, at least for a little while, want to feel like I wear the pants in the family (even if they get taken away from me after the wedding). At least give me that one moment of satisfaction.

Let me plan the day and surprise you.

Due to this, I would personally get embarrassed by a girl proposing to me on one knee in public. That would totally make me feel like less of a man. Again, that’s just my opinion.

How about discussing this with him. Jokingly ask him to take you ring shopping. Have you discussed marriage with him enough? Think about talking more about it. Drop enough hints and I’m sure he’ll get the picture, eventually.

Consider letting him be the one to surprise you!

Just be patient, sometimes guys are really slow and don’t see what’s put in front of them— even when it’s right in front of their faces.

If, after careful consideration, you still decide to propose, I’d recommend doing it in a private place without too many people around. This way, it’ll be more personal, less of a “show,” and knowing that he loves you as much as you say he does, he won’t resist saying yes to you.

I hope everything works out for you no matter what you decide. And don’t worry, it’s okay to be nervous; I know I was. This is a big step, an important moment in your life. Being nervous just shows how much you care.

I’m sure you’ll make the right decision, and I know he’ll remember the day for the rest of his life.

Can I get an invitation to the wedding?