Low Carb Snacks: Peanut Butter Cookies | Chocolate Cheesecake | Protein Ice Cream | Chocolate-Coconut Muffins | Guilt-Free CustardI’m a Survivor: A Personal Story of Strength
by Sharon Jerdonek
Yesterday was a bad day.
The moments I anticipate as a mother still come and pass with each year, but they are no longer days of celebration. Yesterday, my daughter Lauren would have been sixteen. But Lauren’s birthday isn’t a day to celebrate anymore.
An unexplained illness came over Lauren when she was in preschool. Within months of our noticing something wrong, she passed away at the tender age of four. Due to the rapid decline of her health from the onset of symptoms, doctors were unable to explain what had taken our little girl.
Sharon with her angels.
Days passed where I was literally unable to breathe. I knew I had to stay strong for Lauren’s older sister, Morgan. She was a brilliant child who loved to read, played regular games of chess, and laughed happily with her school friends in the first grade.
As we had seen with her sister before, Morgan began showing symptoms of the same unexplained disease. My daughter who played chess well at the age of five was severely mentally handicapped by the age of seven. Unlike her sister, whose condition rapidly progressed, Morgan’s decline was slow.
We shared six beautiful years with our daughter. Doctors were able to determine the cause of Lauren and Morgan’s illness due to the length of time she blessed the earth. Morgan almost made it to her teens, but was stopped just short as she passed at the age of twelve.
There will be many hard months to come. December 14th marks the 5th anniversary of Morgan passing. All those dates a mother looks forward to in happiness I often wish not to witness.
Sharon's beautiful girls.
Mitochondrial disease: that is what they tell us. Give it a name. Define it in medical terminology. Explain the genetics, the biology, and the scientific anomaly that has occurred, existing in its rarest and most daunting form. It does not matter, for it has stolen my children and I feel like I am no longer a mother.
Who am I?
How does anyone survive this? Emotional asphyxia bares no kinship to what I felt within. There is no definition for my loss. No word to duplicate the origin of my pain. For a while, I found myself just existing. It was all I could do. I was still a mother and a wife, but I hardly felt worthy of living any sort of life.
I finally came to a point where I knew I had to make a change. I found myself making the conscious decision not to let the loss of my children destroy me, but to drive me to be a different and better person.
That is when fitness found me.
Bettering myself through training made me feel worthy once again. Being in the gym became an emotional vacation from grief. It was my outlet for relieving stress and improving myself from the inside out. My body was responding physically, and emotionally I found myself healing.
After training hard for a time, I decided I needed a goal. Eventually, training no longer pacified my desire for betterment. I had to ascertain a deeper meaning in all of this work.
I just turned thirty-eight and the changes my body went through were less than desirable. My goal became to be in the best shape of my life at forty-years of age. What better way to do that than to train for my first figure show?
I learned, for me it was more about the journey than the end result. I wanted to know if I had the drive, the dedication, and the self-discipline to stand up to the challenge. Every time I began to falter, facing an unexpected plateau, I thought of my two little girls and all they went through. Those were very tough times for me as well. If I didn’t let the loss of my children beat me, then I knew I was stronger than any weights. I knew I could do this — I just had to convince my body.
Preparing for my first show was incredibly hard work. Days started with early morning cardio sessions, followed by working all day, and topping it off with another trip back to the gym for weight lifting and more cardio. Then I had to add in the constant tweaking my diet to keep my body responding, and posing classes – all while trying to keep some semblance of normalcy in my home life.
The big day finally came!
My day finally came.
I stood on that stage knowing I had done my best. It had been quite a journey, and no matter the outcome, I was already a winner. My husband was watching from the audience and my two angels guided me across that stage.
I took home a trophy that night — Second place in Jr. Masters– and I couldn’t have been happier. My husband commented that he hadn’t seen a smile on my face that big in years.
Four months later I competed in my second figure show where I placed third in Jr. Masters. Currently I am preparing for my third show in hopes of some day qualifying to compete on the NPC National stage.
I have learned many lessons through the loss of my daughters, as well as, my figure athlete journey. I know I have inner strength to know that a tough gym workout will never beat me. I know that I am capable of overcoming the sharpest emotional pain. Thus, a little bit of hunger isn’t going to get me down.
I know I am a winner no matter where the judges place me.
I am a mother. I am a wife. I am a survivor.
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Oh Sharon, you are the strongest person I know. You will probably never get over losing your daughters, but you chose to not let your grief rule your life. And that takes amazing strength more than what the average person can muster up.
Sharon, you have to be the most incredible woman I’ve ever had a chance to speak with. A loss like that is inexplicable pain, and yet you managed to fight through it, coming to the other side where you have a vision set in your mind, and that’s just so admirable. I really look up to you, and I had no idea until now that this had happened…and it’s changed my perspective even more on things. You have only become more amazing in my eyes.
<3
Wow, I had known about your loss, but not in this way. I have always thought you were a strong, amazing woman– and this proves just how strong and perserverant you really are
.** Inspiration.**
You’re amazing and inspirational. Your story makes me want to take everything life hands me and be a better person. Good luck with your 3rd show!
Sharon, you already now I think you are the most amazing and the strongest woman I’ve had the privilege of knowing (even just online). Your drive and determination help to keep others focused when things get tough. You are truly an inspiration to everyone!
Sharon! Words escape me to describe you. You’re determination, strength, and drive are phenomenal. Thank you for being such an excellent role model!
Sharon, you already know I too think of you as one of my friends (not just on here) but in life in general. You are by far the most amazing woman I have known and am so incredibly grateful for what you have overcome…
I’ve said it beofre and I’ll say it now your amazing! Your so beautiful inside and out. You inspire me everyday! Thank you.
Thank you for sharing. My heart goes out to you. What an amazing woman you are to take such a personal tragedy and turn it into something so inspirational.
Sharon – I can’t begin to fathom your loss and what it must have done to you. I applaud you for not only finding a reason to keep getting up every morning, but to rise a champion, on and off the stage. You are a beautiful woman, so strong. Thank you for sharing your story…it and your girls will not be forgotten.
You are a survivor and you are strong. Thankyou for sharing your story
LOVE THIS WOMAN!
thank you all for your amazingly kind words.
I was so glad I had the opportunity to share my story. Thank you Oleysa for giving me the venue to do that.
Kel…thanks so much for your help…you are a terrific freind.
Even through some very difficult times….I am very blessed
Love you Sharon.
Sharon you know i love you!
Sharon, I cry every time I think of your story. I think of my own children, and the thought of losing them is unbearable. Crying right now. thank you for sharing again! keeps us on our toes, thankful for our families and the time we have with them, and reminds us that we can overcome the worst of pain to keep on living, loving, and giving. You are an angel, too.
Your babies would be proud of you.
Sharon,
I do not know you, only your story that I have read. I have 3 daughters myself and want to say to you that you give hope to people that are experiencing loss and fear the experience of loss. The resiliency of your human spirit amazes me and proves that we are all connected. You have made your daughters proud.
Thank you so much for sharing your story!
Sharon, you are one incredible and inspirational lady!
I am lost for words!
Much Love K x
Sharon,
You truly have a gift. A gift to help all mothers grasp the idea that life must go on. It will be painful but it is possible. I believe every mother has the fear of losing a child but knowing someone like you that has survived and proven that strength can be summoned and happiness can be found again, not instead of but in memory of. Your life story has helped many – that I am sure of. You are a beautiful wife, mother and woman!
Thank you so much for sharing your story! You are an amazing woman…an inspiration
Hi Sharon,
This is a beautiful piece that will help many people. Obviously, it is only a synopsis of your life experience. You should write a book, make a movie, or go on the talk circuit about all this. You are an inspiration. Dan